


Wherever I Go

by blue_fairytale



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Asgard (Marvel), Asgardian Loki (Marvel), BAMF Sigyn (Marvel), Bifrost, Depends on your interpretation, F/M, I don't know if this is will have a happy ending, Idiots in Love, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki Is A Jerk, Loki Posing as Odin, Maybe it's a happy ending after all, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Thor (2011), Pre-Thor (2011), Protective Thor (Marvel), Sigyn deserves better, Slow Dancing, Thor (2011) - Freeform, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Thor: The Dark World, Thor: The Dark World Spoilers, but love is blind, it's worthy though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25619479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_fairytale/pseuds/blue_fairytale
Summary: He’s known in Asgard and the rest of the galaxy as the God of Mischief. A neon danger sign seems to flash over his head. And even though she is aware of all the dangers that this love can bring, she falls in love with Loki. She may love and fear for him, but she is aware that no one in all of the worlds can change him.Andonly onecan deceive him.(inspired by the music Wherever I Go, by OneRepublic)
Relationships: Loki/Sigyn (Marvel)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

_I know I could try looking for something new_

_But wherever I go, I’ll be looking for you_

Loki was an intriguing human being. She had known him her entire life, but doubted he even acknowledged her existence. Not that it mattered to Sigyn, far from her wanting to be graced by the King’s son, especially knowing his fame very well. After all, he hadn’t been given the name of _God of Mischief_ for nothing. From early on she had learn not to expect anything from the brunette, and so far it was working.

Her family was close to the King’s family, allowing her access to the court she preferred not to use. She thought herself to be pathetic enough for nurturing a platonic crush for Loki, amongst the many people around there, the brunette’s own brother being an option – one that their moms would clearly love and encourage. She didn’t want to consider what it would be like to have such crush and still run the risk of running into him in some of the numerous dinner-parties offered at the castle.

Sigyn couldn’t place when that crush had begun, but it was there and she was quite ashamed to confess she knew more about Odin’s heir than it would be considered healthy. What amused her mother, the only one to know her daughter’s secret. The same person that now encouraged her to put away her books and venture herself around the castle and tonight’s feast, another celebration they had come up with.

“Sweetie, you need to get out of here a little… Give yourself a chance to meet someone that will make you stop fixating on Loki.”

“I’m fine here,” she insisted, turning the page on the book she was reading. It was one of her favorite, telling Asgard’s story and the battles fought by Odin.

“You could feel better out there,” her mom pointed out. “I had a new dress made just for you. It would be a waste not to wear it.”

Sigyn’s attention was captured by the box her mom had placed on her bed early on, she had wondered what was in there, but her curiosity wasn’t enough to make her move from where she was sitting to find out.

“That’s a low blow, mom,” she said, finally closing the book and putting aside, getting up to get closer to the box so she could spy on its content.

“I just want what’s best for you, sweetie,” the older woman said, her hand through her daughter’s hair. “Why don’t we make a deal? You go to the dinner-party today, glamorous in that dress, and try something different. If you don’t like, we’ll never talk about it again, what do you think?”

“I feel like you’re not giving me to much of an option,” Sigyn pointed out, smiling affectionately to her mom.

“It starts in two hours, you better hurry,” her mom kissed her at the crown of her head and then stepped out of her daughter’s bedroom.

Sigyn sighed, her damp her falling through her back, the curls always so well defined now straight. She opened the box and put away the lid, for a few moments fearing what she would find inside, but all that came out of her mouth was a puff of air she had been holding down. The dress was beautiful, made with the purest silk, in a shade of dark green with some silver tones. She knew even before she tried on that the dress would fit perfectly on her body, shaping her curves and highlighting the blond curls. The hem of the dress seemed to be made of a special fabric that carried a similar shining to that of the Bifrost, despite being more concentrated in the shades of silver and green than in the colors of the rainbow. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling; she may not like to attend those parties, but she loved the special dresses made for those occasions.

Reminding herself from the deal she had made with her mom, she sat down in front of the dressing table to get her hair done, styling it in a way in which most of her curls fell loose, creating some sort of cascade effect on her back, the curls getting more defined as they dried out. Her makeup was pretty simple, she didn’t like to put on much, applying just enough to add some shimmer that would match her dress and the jewels she would wear. A necklace her mom had given her as a birthday gift years ago, and some bracelets around her wrists with such precision that seemed to be made on her skin. The final touch was her dress that, as expected, hugged her body with perfection, taking her breath away when she faced herself on the mirror, admiring how the dress shone according to the light.

“By Odin, sweetie, you look wonderful,” her mom said when Sigyn met her outside her bedroom.

“This dress is beautiful, mom, thank you,” the young lady said, smiling to her mom.

“The boys at the feast won’t know what hit them,” her mom half-joked. “Now go before it gets too late.”

Sigyn felt nervous and anxious, and that was justifiable. It was the first time in years she attended a dinner-party. Last time she was a child, accompanying her parents and having no worries in the world other than behave and follow the rules of etiquette. It was on that last dinner she saw Loki for the last time and felt she had fallen down a path with no return in something that before she just considered as a small, silly crush, and that was when she decided to stop coming to them.

Despite keeping her distance, everyone knew who she was: daughter of Dahlia and Harold, one of the most important families in court. Every now and then she was seeing walking the corridors and the streets of Asgard, but never at dinners. For that exact reason no one was able to hide their surprise when she walked in the big room, her eyes moving quickly as she tried to absorb every single detail, trying to find a familiar face; her hands holding tight the fabric of her dress – another reason for all the surprised and awed faces. She felt her mouth drying out due to the anxiety, her eyes finally recognizing the blonde son of All-Father, that approached her with a big smile on his face.

“Milady,” said Thor, bowing ever so briefly towards her, who smiled a nervous smile back, “it pleases me very much to see you joining us tonight.”

“Thor,” Sigyn replied, finding it hard to keep her eyes on the blue ones of the Prince of Asgard.

“Come in,” he invited her, offering his hand. Sigyn considered for just a moment to refuse, feeling her palms sweating profusely, but she knew It would be rude not take it, so she accepted. If Thor noticed how wet her hand was, he did a great job hiding it. “I must say, milady, you chose the perfect night to join us.”

“Really, and why is that?” Sigyn asked, deciding on letting her anxiety aside, especially when she saw people greeting her, everyone seeming pleased with her presence.

“We are making a surprise to my brother,” said Thor, and Sigyn felt her blood run cold, of all night for her mom to pick…

“Loki? Why?”

“It’s his birthday, not that he likes to celebrate,” said Thor, not seeming at all guilty by forcing a celebration upon his brother, who also liked to remain secluded, but not as much as Sigyn. “Milady, I believe you remember Sif.”

“Sigyn, it’s been awhile,” the brunet smiled to her, not knowing how much that was helping Sigyn to relax even more.

“Indeed,” Sigyn had to agree, smiling towards the other lady.

“Come, darling,” said Sif, pulling the newcomer away from Thor’s arms. “Let’s catch up.”

Sigyn thanked Thor for welcoming her and then followed Sif, more relieved for finding a known face, someone she used to have a good friendship with when she was still socializing. The brunet didn’t ask questions about her somewhat exile, on the contrary, started to tell her everything that had happened on the last few years and how hard she had been training to become a warrior, alongside Thor and the other boys. Since she didn’t have much to add, Sigyn just listened, dropping a few comments here and there according to what Sif was telling her.

Constantly her eyes would avert and examine the big room, expecting to find a pair of green eyes and hair dark as night, even though she knew his arrival would be announced in advance so everybody could be prepared to surprise him. Maybe Sigyn would take that opportunity to step back and leave the party. Sif could notice the blonde’s anxious eyes, but chose to remain quiet about. For a long time now she suspected Sigyn’s real reasons to stay away from court, and her anxiety just served to prove her right.

Sif was in the middle of one of her many stories when one of the guards walked in to announce Loki’s arrival. Sigyn swallowed down the lump on her throat, wanting to escape but finding it to be rude to Sif if she left her. But soon she sighed relieved when Sif held her hand and took her to a more secluded place, justifying not being very friendly with Thor’s brother and that she was only there for the party. In the middle of her explanation, Sigyn stopped listening to whatever the brunet was saying, her attention being drawn completely to the brunette walking in the big room, offering a small smile to all the congratulations he was receiving for his birthday.

He looked dazzling, his dark hair combed back, and the formal wear seemed to match the dress she was wearing, since it was made with a dark green fabric, almost black, and some details in silver. Sigyn felt her throat drying out once more, if it wasn’t for all the time she had spent secluded away from court, many people could say they had dressed as a couple. Even Sif noticed the similarities, her observation being heard by the blonde woman, even though Sigyn expressed no reaction. It wasn’t enough that she had agreed to go back to socializing terms on the day of her platonic crush, she still had to be dressed as if they had agreed to match in advance. She would have to have a very serious conversation with her mom later.

Throughout the rest of the party she was able to keep her distance from Loki, taking advantage of Sif’s friendships to interact with the other guests, always being able to escape every time she noticed the approximation of Thor’s brother. Despite running away from him, her acts betrayed her, since every time her eyes sought him out in the crowd, always taking her breath away every time she would see him laughing or giving one of his mysterious and ironic smiled.

“How long will you keep on running from me?” The voice startled her, causing her to spill some of the drink she was holding, fortunately not getting her dress. It had been a while since the last time she had heard it, but she would recognize it anywhere, anytime. Sigyn turned, feeling her heart missing a beat before racing in her chest when she found green eyes facing her without shame, watching her from head to toe and casting another one of his smiles. “You seem surprised… Did you really think I wouldn’t come after my partner?”

“Partner?”

“We are matching,” Loki observed, amusement in his eyes and face. “I feel honored.”

“Just kill me now,” she murmured, making a mental note of having an even more serious talk with her mom. “It seemed fair, since it is a celebration of your birthday.”

“I must confess, yours was a very triumphant return.”

“Triumphant? I wouldn’t go that far,” Sigyn laughed, feeling her face heating up slightly. “By the way… Happy birthday, Your Highness…”

“Oh, Sigyn, please, you know you don’t need any of that,” Loki dismissed her formalities as if it was an annoying fly. Something behind her caught the brunette’s attention and he seemed slightly annoyed. “I wish I could keep talking to you, but my presence is required by my brother. I hope you keep on enjoying the party.”

“Thank you.”

Sigyn wanted to lean against the nearest pillar, or even the table, but she knew it would attract a lot of attention, more than she would feel comfortable with. Her legs felt weak and her heart seemed incapable of going back to a steadier heartbeat. It seemed unreal that Loki had considered her his partner just for how they had dressed. Years back, that would have been a dream coming true to her, now it was just a confirmation of her reasons to stay away. However, at the same time, a sign for her to stay there, just admiring him and being able to imagine that the nickname given to him was just the result of some internal joke between the brothers.

۰ **ℓ** ۰

Arguing with her mom was pointless, the woman seemed even more excited once her daughter narrated the dinner-party in honor of Loki’s birthday, and didn’t allow the blonde to be discouraged by the next ones that would come, always taking advantage of giving her daughter a new dress knowing Sigyn was unable to say no. In just a handful of months, Sigyn had occupied the entire space she had taken years to clear out on her wardrobe. She had also become more deeply involved in the social circle of the court and, above all, had revived the friendship she once had with Thor. As kids, she and the blonde used to run around the castle’s corridors creating innumerous situations for it. Every now and then Loki would join them, but the brunette was always more secluded, preferring to stay with his face on a book rather than joining both blonde kids. Their moms would always joke that one day Sigyn and Thor would become a couple and get married, but that was never the plan for the both of them, always seeing each other just as friends. They never cared much to include Loki on their plans, however.

“Sigyn, what a pleasure to see you!” Thor welcomed her when she showed up at the door. That night she was wearing a dark pink dress with golden details, that resembled the color of her hair, which were pulled together in a high ponytail.

“Did you think I wouldn’t come?” She asked, smiling when the blonde man offered her his hand to help her get down the steps. She was relived because he had finally stopped with the formal treatment, encouraging her to drop her act as well, both of them returning to how they used to be before her long absence.

“There’s always a doubt whenever my brother is on the list,” Thor observed, smiling at her without hiding the fact that he knew how the blond woman felt around the brunette. Sigyn felt her face blushing, lowering her head trying to hide it, but failing since her curls were trapped and unable to hide her face. “I never know if you’re going to bail on us or…

“Bail on you?” She frowned, stopping on her steps and facing Thor. Next to him, she noticed how small she was, having to tilt her head back to get a better look at his face. “Thor, I won’t…”

“I know, Sigyn, it’s just a way of putting it,” he said, seeming guilty by the possibility of offending the woman.

“I’m sorry,” she said, knowing he knew what she had planned.

“Me too,” he said, confusing her. “For my brother.”

“And what have I done now?” Loki’s voice came from behind the blonde man, causing Sigyn’s eyes to widen and squeeze the blonde’s hand as a reflex.

He was beautiful as always, wearing black from head to toe, green eyes seeming to shine even brighter when he noticed Sigyn standing next to his brother, a shadow clouding his eyes very briefly when he saw their hands entwined. Sigyn noticed, letting Thor’s hand go as fast as he could, noticing how he had tensed up when he also noticed his brother’s reaction to that simple touch. The shadow was ever so brief, however, and soon Loki turned his gave towards Sigyn, giving her one of his ironic smiles.

“Lady Sigyn,” he said, his voice low and smooth causing shivers down her spine, causing her to appreciate even more the fact she was wearing a long sleeved dress.

“Loki,” she replied, giving him a more simplistic smile, slightly bending her knees, since with him she hadn’t been able to completely drop the formalities. Not that he seemed to care, a different glimmer filling his eyes whenever he saw her acknowledging him.

“You look stunning tonight, milady,” he added, his eyes glancing her body slowly, unashamed, not minding the blush taking over her face. Thor cleared his throat slightly, getting his brother’s attention. “Oh, yes, stunning… I hope I get the chance to dance with you tonight.”

“Of course, as you wish,” she said, unable to stop her eyes from widening in surprise to his invitation.

On the other dinner-parties he had attended, Loki always kept a safe distance from her, speaking with Sigyn just when they were in the same group of friends and just when he was addressing something she had said, other than that, they just exchanged a few looks, whenever she made the mistake of getting caught. Her thought regarding the brunette had just increased since the first party, of his birthday. She tried to distract herself with books or spending her day watching Sif and the boys training, every now and then asking Thor to teach her something, but tending to laugh more than actually learn anything. However, as much as she tried to keep her days busy, and her mind as well, Loki always found a way to get back and take over her thoughts, whether just from her imagination or for his unexpected arrival at the same place she was in.

She didn’t know if she attracted him or if was the other way around, because it was ridiculous the amount of time they would ran into each other on a daily basis. Sigyn also felt that she was to blame for the constant presence of the brunette at the parties, a comment made by Thor himself when he watched the unexpected arrival of his brother on a recent one, since the brunette had assured him he wouldn’t be attending the event. And when Loki’s green eyes scanned the room looking for Sigyn’s amber ones, the blonde smiled and dropped that comment, causing the woman to blush profusely, despite her beliefs that Thor was just exaggerating.

Anyway, regardless of who attracted who, there they were slowly approaching the middle of the room, where some people were dancing, Loki’s hand firmly in hers, and then positioning himself delicately and precisely at the same time on her waist. Sigyn swallowed nothing before placing her hand on the brunette’s shoulder, summoning up the courage to look up and find his green eyes staring at her with an intensity that took her breath away. Loki guided her through the space with mastery, the two of them seeming to float rather than dance, moving in sync as if they had been doing it for years. It was almost ironic, the first time they met again, they were dressed as a couple, and now they were dancing around the room with the synchrony and chemistry of two people that had been together for years.

“A crow tells me your birthday is coming up,” Loki said at some point, his voice low and soft. His eyes were curious, probably wondering why he hadn’t learned about the fact from her.

“Yes, in a couple of days,” she confirmed, smiling shyly, aware of the eyes fixated on them.

“Will I receive an invitation to the party?” Loki asked, looking genuinely curious.

“Why don’t you wait for the crow to confirm?” Sigyn joked, liking the way his eyes shone with her joke. Loki knew sometimes she felt uncomfortable near him, and in those moments where Sigyn would make a joke at his expense delighted him more than what was considered as normal.

“I will look forward,” he said. “I hope I get it; it would be tragic not being able to give you your gift.”

“Gift?” Sigyn stopped suddenly, her eyes widening, and his amused smile making her feel fidgety. “Loki, you don’t… You are not serious, are you?”

“If I get a crow, you will know,” he replied, letting go of her hand and waist, bowing slightly towards her. “Thank you for the dance, milady. I hope we get to do this again. Perhaps on your birthday?”

Sigyn watched him as he walked away, her eyes never losing sight of him even when he passed by a large group of gests. Just when he left the room she lost him, and she cursed for not being able to see through walls. People moved around her but Sigyn couldn’t move herself, her mind spiraling given the perspective of getting a gift from none other than Loki Laufeyson. He was on her guest list, obvious, her mom hadn’t even given her a chance for that _not_ happening. And in case he wasn’t, he would be now, because Sigyn was a curious person and loved presents. Just the mere idea of getting a gift from Loki was enough to leave her on the edge of pure anxiety.

۰ℓ۰

The weeks that followed up until her birthday went by in a blink of an eye, but for Sigyn they couldn’t have taken longer, since her anxiety was up the roofs with the expectation of getting a birthday gift from Loki. Ever since that dinner-party, he hadn’t showed up in any other.

Frigga, the Queen, had insisted on offering the great room of the palace for the birthday party. The Queen was more than elated with Sigyn’s return to could, always having a lot of appreciation for the youngest and enjoying the good influence she seemed to have on her children. Dahlia joined forces with the Queen and, together, they planned the birthday party of Sigyn’s dreams. Everything was organized with the most refined taste that both of them had, the ornaments seemed to be made of the same material as the Bifrost, and the light reflected in every detail leaving the room with an even more exuberant aura than it already had.

That morning, Sigyn received a package from the royal guard claiming it to be a gift from the “Royal Family” – which she interpreted as being a gift from just Frigga really, Odin, the All-Father, wouldn’t care about any birthday, right? When she opened the box, she saw herself in awe with such beauty. The Queen had gifted her with a beautiful dress that, without a doubt, had been made especially for that occasion.

The fabric was thin and delicate, very light, extremely expensive and exclusive to the Crown, after all no one in Asgard could afford anything of that quality. Black as the darkest night, with the most diverse colorful and bright details, the dress went down to her feet. A strap below the bust mimicked Bifrost, the heart cleavage leaving her chest bare, and the short sleeves left her pale arms exposed. Sigyn normally preferred long sleeved dresses, but the _Queen_ had given her that gift. She wouldn’t take a risk and offend the woman by wearing something else.

Later, her mom gave her the perfect shoes to match the dress. Definitely the both of them had conspired for that gift. Dahlia and Harold gifted her books and jewelry, that she was unable to wear that night for considering the dress was enough on its own. There was so much sparkle in it, she didn’t need anything else. Her golden locks seemed to shine even brighter, especially after she added some silver ornaments to hold the sides and let everything else fall in a long golden cascade – it was her favorite hairstyle, always enjoying showing her long hair. Her eyes and face were, as always, covered by a very thin and discreet layer of makeup. Sigyn felt that she would already be drawing too much attention for being the birthday girl, celebrating in the Royal room, and dressed like that. If it weren’t for the obvious lack of chemistry between her and Thor, everyone could say that this was, actually, an engagement party.

The room was full. The smell of the dinner spread and mixed with the perfumes of the guests. The sound of the conversations was invaded by the music that played in the background. Sigyn had already welcomed all of her guests, smiled to all and walked around the room to participate in every chat group that had formed. The guests laughed and complimented the beautiful décor, she just smiled and thanked them, giving all the credits to her mom and Frigga. Her dress, obviously, was a show on its own, and Sigyn had even grown tired of thanking everyone for their complements.

When Thor arrived, she couldn’t hide the disappointment in her face when she realized he was alone. The blonde man smile and gave her a bear hug, wishing her a happy birthday and laughing after he saw her eyes were searching for something behind him.

“He’ll come, Sigyn,” he assured her, smiling in amusement when he saw her face turning a slightly shade of red. “Honestly, I’m surprised he wasn’t the first one to arrive.”

That made her laugh, and soon she and Thor were strolling arm in arm around the room, while he narrated the events she had missed that day and relieved the tension that had settled on her shoulders without her even noticing. Thor’s presence was natural, and it made her relax. The blonde was fun, always had a story to share or an advice to give her. He had a patience no one would believe if told, at least with her. All in all, he was the big brother she always wanted and her parents were never able to give.

It was later that night when Sigyn finally was able to step away from the party and hid herself on the balcony. The stars shining bright on the sky, and the Bifrost illuminating the sea running under it. Sigyn loved that scenery, just the image of the bridge was enough to make her smile, but the entire landscape was even more charming. When she was little, she liked to draw, and more than half of her drawings were of that landscape. There was nothing more beautiful, with the exception, perhaps, than the view of the palace when walking along the Rainbow Bridge.

“Why so lonely, milady?” The sudden voice made her jump and her heart miss a beat.

Slowly, Sigyn turned to face the one she had been waiting all night, but hadn’t showed up. Somehow, she managed to hide her disappointment due to the brunette’s delay, offering him a polite smile and doing a very brief curtsy, even though she realized Loki had become speechless upon seeing her. The black dress made her look even paler, her blond hair shone as if to create a halo around her, and the sparkles of the dress made her look even more like a divine figure.

“I apologize for my delay,” he said. His voice was soft as velvet and left Sigyn feeling like she was flying.

He looked splendid as well, the woman noticed. As always and unsurprising, wearing black from head to toe. The details, however, this time were golden, the exact shade of her hair, Sigyn noticed. It seemed ironic, they had met again on _his_ birthday, in which she wore the man’s colors. Now they were on _her_ birthday, and Loki returned the honor. There was a scarf going down his shoulders, black with intricate lines of gold, and his green eyes seemed even more highlighted given his clothes. The black hair was combed back, just one thin strand daring to separate from that perfection and falling over one eye.

“But I come baring gifts,” he added, his hands moving inside the pockets of the jacket he was wearing and pulling out a small package, which he quickly offered her.

Sigyn looked at the packed offered her with surprise. Fearing to give him the wrong impression, she took it, her trembling fingers touching Loki’s cold ones, a small wave of electricity spreading through them. Amber eyes sought the green ones of the God in front of her, recognizing in there a small note of uncertainty, whilst everything else carried his usual confidence, mixed with some mystery. His discreet and ironic smile remained on his lips.

“You’re giving me a present?” She asked, uncertain, her eyes going back to the small box on her hand. As everything Loki-related, the box was wrapped by a thin and delicate piece of black paper, tied up by a green strap with golden hem. She didn’t even bother to reply to his other comments, stuck in her own thoughts. She thanked the Gods above however, for her voice coming out firm and steady despite her doubts.

“It is the expected, isn’t it? Giving gifts on birthdays.” His voice, as always, seemed to penetrate her skin, spread heat through her body. His soft and velvety tone, and each word, each phrase, even the simplest one, seeming carefully calculated. “Besides, I told you I would give you a present.”

He looked at the box and then back at her, arching one of his eyebrows, a silence invitation for her to open it. Her mom had advised her not to open any of the presents until the end of the party, preferably only the next day. But it was Loki, son of the All-Father, and they were alone, there was no way she could deny that simple request. Taking a deep breath to try and steady her shaking hands, she undid the lace keeping the paper together, keeping the ribbon in her hand whilst she pulled away the paper involving the box. It was a small and very delicate box, black with metallic green patterns. Sigyn thought it was a trick of her eyes, but every now and then she could recognize the letter “L” in the patterns. The size of the box didn’t leave much doubts as to what could be inside – it was a jewel. Sigyn, however, wasn’t exactly prepared to _what_ she found inside.

The set was fine, delicate and, at the same time, extravagant. The silver ring rested on the cushion, the light reflecting off the polished stone that looked so much like the Bifrost, the colors of the rainbow shining according to the movement that Sigyn made with her hand, was accompanied by a necklace, also with a silver thread, and with the stone cut in the same style, but bigger – not going unnoticed by the woman that the green was more prominent. It was her favorite color, but it was also _his_ color.

“Loki, this is…” She looked up to face him, the shade of green matching the stone on her necklace. “I can’t take it.”

Loki didn’t answer her, his expression not changing even a little bit in face of her attempt to refuse his gift. The man looked away from her face – something extremely difficult, since she looked even more beautiful that day than any other day – and fixed it on the box, his hands reaching up so that he could take the necklace that rested on the soft and bright cushion. Still not saying a word, he went around her, noticing her curious and restless, and positioned the necklace around her neck, pulling away her golden locks to make it easier for him, his fingers brushing her skin at the back of her neck when he closed down the clasp, causing an eruption of shivers down her spine, causing him to smile at that reaction. When he was facing her again, Loki analyzed the entire length of her neck, until he reached the pendant with the stone, which rested on her chest, just above the neckline of the dress she wore.

“Perfect,” he said, pulling away some strands of hair back to where they rested before he intervened. Her hand went up to touch the stone, feeling as if it burned her skin, the same way his fingers had done when he brushed the back of her neck. “Happy birthday, Sigyn.”

He was standing so close it was almost wrong, if anyone saw them in that position, it would rise too many wrong assumptions about the situation they were in, or not. His eyes focused on her, amber clashing with green, her head slightly tilted upwards, Sigyn thanking the high heels shoes for allowing her to be almost on the same height as the brunette. A simple movement was enough, the distance between them was very small, their lips were so attractive to each other; their eyes had already connected, all was left was the rest of their bodies. And that issue seemed to be fixing itself, Sigyn noticing how the green irises were getting closer to hers. Loki just looked away from her amber eyes to look at her lips, so red and inviting. They were so close she could feel them brushing slightly; a touch as delicate as the wings of a butterfly. Her heart was pounding, as if It wanted to propel her forward, eliminate that distance once and for all.

But the final touch never came, a loud screaming noise and what sounded like something falling was heard inside the room where the party was taking place and they stepped away. Loki turning his head towards the source of the noise, as if he wanted to course whoever had interrupted them, whilst Sigyn closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. Kissing Loki was something she definitely wanted, but, paradoxically, she also wished she didn’t, knowing that when it happened, it would be a path of no return.

She barely had time to react, the acknowledgment for the gift stuck in her throat, before he turned and stared to walk away. Loki hadn’t come to her party, despite having dressed for the event, he had only appeared to see her and deliver his gift. Sigyn wasn’t so surprised by the man’s absence, knowing that when she invited him, it was just a courtesy and he would very politely refuse. The same way he showed up, he vanished, on a longer blink of Sigyn’s eyes, the God was no longer anywhere to be seen, the only evidence of his presence being the small box in her hand and her heart beating fast.

۰ℓ۰

The last year had been crazy. Sigyn could barely believe how much could change in such short notice. Her closeness to Thor and the rest of his family was something that fit this changes. Years ago, when she decided to isolate herself, she thought she could never be close with Odin son and rebuild the friendship they had, and how wrong she was. Not only did she and Thor get close, but even she and the blonde’s brother.

Her birthday was still very vivid in her mind, especially the moment Loki had found her alone and took his chance in giving her a present. Present that she felt unable to take off of her neck or finger. Feel people knew where that gift had come from. Basically her mom, Thor and, obviously, who gifted her. The blonde always smiled whenever he saw her wearing the jewel, seeming to approve her relationship with his brother, but always with some shadow of concern regarding Loki’s way of acting. They were still young, but the difference between the two brothers were very significant already.

Sigyn had become used, during the last few months, to walk in the castle and spend hours at the library, since Odin’s collection was the biggest to ever exist. Occasionally, she would venture to Bifrost, just to enjoy the sun radiating on the bridge and it spreading various colorful shades across the sea below it. Sometimes, Heimdall would come and keep her company, and she loved to talk to the watchman and listening to his notes of wisdom.

That afternoon, she was making her way to the Bifrost when she felt someone was accompanying her. She smirked, keeping her steps at the same pace, but feeling her heard pounding, the memory of her birthday and what had _almost_ happened between them coming back to her mind.

“He’s not there,” the velvet voice she was able to recognize everywhere said behind her back, closer than Sigyn had thought.

“And what makes you think I’m looking for someone?” She asked, a shade of fun in her voice. Loki’s cold fingers wrapped her arm and caused her to stop. They were halfway through the Bifrost, the sun shining up above and causing the bridge to glow, making the green of his eyes look more intense, almost as if it was the reflection of the sea under them. Loki had the answer at the tip of his tongue, but as soon as she turned and something on her necklace shimmered, his eyes went from her face towards her chest, where the stone rested. The brunette smiled, her hand that was raised was his next target, seeming even more pleased when he saw that the ring was also there. “Like what you see?”

“Very much, milady,” he said, going back to stare her straight in the eyes, losing himself on those unique and captivating amber eyes. He saw those amber eyes every time he closed his green ones. Loki smirked, his thumb gently caressing her arms, feeling her shivering under the unexpected caress.

“I didn’t see you at the last dinner-parties,” she observed, regretting it right away when she noticed his amused smiles. She knew _how_ that could sound like.

“I apologize, milady,” Loki raised his free hand to put away a strand of golden lock that was stuck at her neck. “I’ve been busy. Have you missed me?”

“You promised me a dance,” she remembered him. “And you vanished on my birthday.”

“Once again, I apologize,” Loki moved, turning so they could carry on their walk along the bridge.

He had been watching her, even if she didn’t see him, he knew her habits, how she liked to position herself on the exact half of the bridge and watch the sea and the way the sun reflected on it. Their walk didn’t last long, but Loki made a small change, leaving them staring at the opposite spot that she usually admired. Not that Sigyn seemed to be bothered, willingly accompanying him.

Every day in Asgard was sunny, the same, but something that day seemed different. Sigyn tried to seat on the bridge, as she always did, but Loki’s cold hand stopped her. The man held her delicately, bringing her closer to him. His green eyes staring at her and a smile dancing on his lips. His free hand touched her waist, bringing her even closer, while the other went down Sigyn’s arm until he managed to interlace his fingers with hers. The woman looked at him doubtfully, understanding, but not fully grasping at what he intended.

“Would you give me the honor and dance with me, milady?” He asked, his voice just a little bit louder than a whisper.

“There’s no music,” she observed, her mouth dry at that invitation. Despite the seatback, she put her free hand on his shoulder.

“With you, music is just a small detail,” he said, starting to waltz with her along the bridge.

Sigyn was glad he didn’t ask too much of an answer, as she would have nothing to give to him. She followed his lead without any difficulty, remembering his birthday and the way they moved around the room. Nothing had changed, despite his recent distance. It was as if they were floating through Bifrost, the sun shining and the sea running underneath them. Loki’s eyes never left Sigyn’s amber, and she couldn’t stop admiring him in the golden light. The way his hair shone and contrasted with his pale skin. The thin lips, always drawn in an amused smile, where mesmerizing and inviting. So Sigyn didn’t feel so bad as she gradually stopped dancing, her eyes straying to the thin line, now compressed and no longer caught in a smile.

She had dreamed of that touch for so long and had run away from it for even longer, and suddenly she couldn’t imagine how or why she had done it. Yes, Loki exuded danger, but what relationship didn’t make her feel that way? They were two adults, or heading towards it, it was time to face their fears and deal with the obvious feelings that had been hovering over them since adolescence. Sigyn eliminated the distance, just as he had done on her birthday, but before she could reach the same point that he had stopped, Loki stopped her and broke free of her, intending to get away from Sigyn and leave. It had been a mistake, he thought.

“I know what you’re doing,” she said, stopping him from get away by holding his arm. Loki stopped and turned his face to the side.

“And what am I doing?” He asked, her firm hold on his arm causing him to turn and face her.

“Keeping me away,” Sigyn said, taking one step closer to him, noticing the green in his eyes harden. “It’s not working.”

“It’s not…”

“Safe? Right? True?” She tried to finish his sentence, one more sign of how she wouldn’t allow him to get away this time to reach a conclusion. “Why deny it, Loki?”

“I…”

“You feel it to, I know,” she said, her free hand going up to his face.

Loki opened his mouth again to try uselessly to push her away again, but Sigyn was quicker, the strange determination taking over her body and making her stand on her tiptoes to erase the distance between their lips once and for all. Making her lips crash hard against the brunette’s. Loki didn’t move, allowing her to maintain the contact, even against his own will tasting the honey that seemed to be her lips, the softness and delicacy with which she caressed his. Loki closed his eyes, letting her taste what he fought so hard not to give in, feeling her hand caress his face, her tongue running over his lips, as if there was something there that she would like to taste.

And to quickly it was over, but Loki wasn’t ready yet – and Sigyn seemed to know that, even so she turned away from him. The brunette reacted quickly, his arm coming around her waist and bringing her closer, the other arm still caught in her grip, and the lips that crashed once more, this time in a deeper and less delicate kiss. With Loki finally taking to himself what he craved so badly and had tried to run away so much. Her touch was delicate but hungry, matching his, which was more aggressive, and her taste was pure honey, as if her eyes melted and went down to her lips.

Sigyn sighed as she felt his tight grip on her waist, breathing air into his mouth, which seemed to ignite something even more intense inside the brunette, who eliminated the distance between their bodies once and for all. Sigyn took her chance, raising the hand that was still fixed on his arm to his face, and moving along until she reached his dark locks.

For a long time, she had dreamed about doing that, imagining what it would feel like to touch that black waterfall like the starless sky. And she wasn’t disappointed; his hair was soft and fluid, as if she was touching water, and went up until his shoulders. Wrapping her fingers between the strand was like touching the clouds, she felt as if she was touching nothing, so silky his hair was. And Sigyn found that ecstatic. Addictive. Just like its owner, just like that kiss. She didn’t want to stop touching him, kissing him, feeling him… His tight grip on her waist, his tongue caressing hers, his lips tasting her as if she was the most delicious fruit he had ever tasted.

They broke the kiss when the need for oxygen turned bigger than the need to stay there, something they both didn’t think was possible, but it was. And even when they moved away, they held their foreheads together, their eyes still closed, both feeling the warmth of the sun that was beginning to set over the horizon, caressing their faces. Sigyn couldn’t stop running her tongue over her lips, as if she wanted to enjoy every last drop of Loki’s flavor.

“That was…” Loki broke their silence, his voice so low it didn’t disturb the silence so much.

“In…”

“Wrong,” Loki interrupted her, causing her to open her eyes and face him, getting angry when she saw that his eyes remained closed. Sigyn moved away from him, breaking once and for all their bubble and forcing him to open his eyes, just to see her standing on the opposite side of the bridge, so close to the edge Loki feared she would do something wrong. “Sigyn.”

“Go away,” she said, her voice could and sharp.

Loki looked at her, regret clear in his face, but at the same time not feeling it exactly. He regretted having given in and kissing her as he had done, despite not regretting the kiss itself. It was more on the fact that he had given in, allowed her to see how much power she had over him. And now she was pushing him away, and Loki couldn’t really blame her. Loki tried to take one step closer, but Sigyn seemed to have heard him and looked away, repeating the same order she had given before. Loki swallowed the lump in his throat, lowering his head and started to walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy oh boy, do I love these two idiots!
> 
> If you read my other Loki/Sigyn fic, please be aware that this is nothing like the other one. This one Loki is the jerk we've learn to love over the years.
> 
> Also, this one is complete and I intend on posting it every week, it depends on my lazyness and my progress on translating it. This is quite a big one in Portuguese, and it is very hard to write Loki since he is very lord-ish and all, so just bare with me, I promise it's worthy it.
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment and/or some kudos to motivate a very lazy author.
> 
> Love, Blue 💙


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor _almost_ gets his crown, but Loki gets in the way. Sigyn is not happy, but she knows better.
> 
> We've all watched the first Thor, we know how it goes... On Earth at least.

_Some people lie but they’re looking for magic_

_Others are quietly going insane_

The entire Asgard was celebrating. After so many years, Odin had finally announced Thor’s coronation and everybody was very excited… Well, _almost_ everybody. Whilst all the servants from the castle organized a big feast and decorated the Throne room for the coronation, Sigyn walked around the hallways watching every single detail. She had begun to enjoy the kingdom parties, and loved to watch the decorations being put up. That day, however, she was tense, knowing that not everybody was happy with what had happened. That’s why her eyes scanned every single available spot, looking out for the green cape and black hair.

She knew there was some competition amongst the two brothers, and that sentiment had only grown as the decision of All-Father had come closer. For Thor, there was no difference whatsoever, there was no doubt to anyone that he would be the chosen one to wield Mjolnir, and that Loki, once more, would be put aside, always in second place. That didn’t please the brunette at all, which caused him to brew a feeling of injustice internally. Odin always tried to show that there was no difference in how he treated and raised the boys, and both would have a chance for the throne, but as they grew up, his speech was slowly changing.

“The party will start and just a couple of hours, you know.” She heard the voice coming from behind her when she leaned against the balcony that gave her the view of the entire kingdom. The sun reflecting on the castle with so much intensity, leaving Asgard in a shade of gold. Sigyn smiled, even though she knew she shouldn’t. “Not that you need to much of a preparation.” That made the smile vanish from her lips, the woman lowering her head as she felt him coming closer. The memory of the kiss, that had happened a few years ago, still very much alive in her mind, as if had happened just a couple of days ago. Now she felt like an idiot.

“I was looking for you,” she confessed, looking up to find him standing by her side.

“Worried?” He smirked, knowing very well that she knew what happened inside of him better than any other person. Even after his attempts to try and push her away after that kiss, Sigyn still had that magnificent ability to read as easily as a child book.

“I learned my lesson, Loki,” she said, offering him a smile that never reached her eyes, noticing with a certain pleasure that that sentence seemed to hurt him. “I just want to make sure you won’t do anything to try and ruin the day.”

“Ah, right… Thor’s precious day,” he said. His face closed up and his green eyes hardening with her words. It hurt more than anything else to see her against him, but Loki knew he was never going to be worthy of having her, as much as he wanted her. And as much as he was selfish, something inside of him just prevented him from acting that way with her. “Don’t worry, milady, Thor will have the day he deserves.”

Sigyn wanted to swallow the lump on her throat with Loki’s cold voice, but managed to get a hold of herself. She knew the secret to be near him was to not show any weakness, or any feeling. But she couldn’t control the shiver that ran down her spine with all that coldness, taking over her body as if everything had been frozen. She took a quick look towards the brunette before nodding and start to walk away. Feeling him hesitate behind her, but saying nothing.

But obviously something had to happen to ruin that day. As soon as Odin interrupted Thor’s oath and his body tensed before he announced the presence of the Frost Giants, Sigyn looked at Loki, noticing the rigid coldness on his face. No noticeable emotion. Everybody panicked right away, but Sigyn was incapable of moving, her eyes never moving away from Loki’s face and the small smile he kept on his lips. He couldn’t even fake it. She took a step aside when Odin, Thor and Loki walked by to see the damage the Frost Giants had made. From her place at the throne altar, Frigga looked at the woman, her eyes wide with a slight terror that she tried to disguise with a certain mastery. The blonde approached the younger lady, a smile beginning to appear on her lips.

“My Queen,” Sigyn said, taking her right hand towards her shoulder in a sign of respect. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

“Ah, there’s no need for that, dear,” she said, touching Sigyn’s face. “You have nothing to be sorry for. As a matter of fact, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while.”

“My Queen?”

“My son thinks he can hide from me what he feels,” the woman smiled, and Sigyn didn’t need to ask which son she was referring too. “It pleases me very much that he has finally allowed himself to have something good in his life. Maybe you could help him.”

Sigyn doubted that was possible, but she wouldn’t be the person to call the Queen a fool for believing on Loki’s redemption. It was too late for that, Loki had allowed himself to be consumed by rage and jealousy towards Thor and the treatment Odin had given him. The only thing Sigyn was able to do was to not, excusing herself before walking away and join Sif and the boys.

When they reunited again, it was to find Thor and Loki back on the room where the feast would happen after Thor’s coronation. The table with all the food was turned upside down and both the brothers were seating down at the steps that lead to the room’s balcony. Sigyn didn’t like the way Loki was positioned towards Thor, feeling a new wave of cold running through her body when she recognized the soft whisper of Loki’s voice, more then used with that for the amount of times he had done that to her. When he got up, Thor gathered everyone, but Sigyn kept her eyes trained on Loki, noticing how his body reacted according to the blonde’s speech, motivating all of them to join him in invading Jotunheim. Sigyn was scared, even more so after she realized everyone seemed to agree with Thor’s idea. They couldn’t be serious.

“You disapprove,” Thor looked at her, approaching her.

“I don’t think that a war against Jotunheim seems like a good strategy,” she confessed. It was just a half-truth, but should be enough.

“They invaded our home, Sigyn!” Thor said back, and the blonde knew it would be impossible to fight him.

“Do whatever you think is right, Thor,” she said, excusing herself to leave the room, not before she cast a look towards Loki, knowing he would be staring back at her.

Sigyn watched from a distance their departure, the glow from the Bifrost indicating the travel between worlds. The last look of Loki in her direction still very clear in her mind, battling for attention with the decision she was debating whether to take it or not. Thor would hate her if she went through with that if he ever found out, but she also couldn’t take her chance in losing her friends… To lose Loki, as much as he didn’t deserve such concern. When the glow from the bridge disappeared, Sigyn nodded, the decision clear in her mind, and she turned her back to the scenery, going back inside the castle. She knew the All-Father would be in the Throne room going through the security measurements, having heard an argument about that when Thor and the others were getting ready to leave, so that’s where she went.

Odin was intimidating for everybody, but Sigyn had known him since she was a child, considering him a close relative, something close to a father, and for that reason she wasn’t intimidated by the King’s imposing presence, especially when he couldn’t control his happy smile every time he saw her. When she walked in on the Throne room, he had just dismissed the guards, that had started to walk away, just one staying behind so he could question if the woman’s presence was allowed or not, getting an approval from the King and allowing Sigyn’s approach.

“My King,” she said, repeating the same gesture she had done with Frigga earlier.

“Child,” said Odin, his voice echoing through the now empty room. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“My King, I want to say I feel very sorry about what happened,” she started, raising her eyes so she could face him, fearing Odin’s reaction as soon as he found out what his sons had done. “And I feel even more sorry about what I came to report about what Thor and Loki are doing.”

It wasn’t her nature to denounce others, but then again, it was their safety. And she knew that as brave and powerful as Thor and the rest were, they were no match for the army that Jotunheim should have. As predicted, Odin’s revolt had been powerful and the King soon ran to fetch his horse, while Sigyn took a deep breath and hoped not to be as hated as she was expecting to be whenever they found out who had given them away.

She walked to the Bifrost, wanting to be there once they got back. Heimdall offered her a hard gaze, but not condemning, just the usual from the warder, he seemed to have approved her decision. It was as if they were waiting for her to get there to get back. Unexpectedly, the wide space was lit up and she heard Thor’s angry voice arguing with Odin, the young man wanting to argue that he was defending his kingdom, while the All-Father claimed that he could not defend even his own friends, the argument soon becoming more understandable when she saw the group carrying one of them, very injured.

Loki stayed a little far back, just watching the argument between his father and brother, his eyes quickly catching Sigyn’s presence, who was still wearing the same dress she wore for the party, the light pink fabric coming down her body, making her contrast with the chaotic situation around them.

“And you are and old man and a fool!” Thor screamed all of the sudden, getting the attention of everyone present. Loki seemed to take a step closer to where Sigyn was standing, intending to serve as protection if the fight between the two got more serious.

“Yes,” replied Odin, seeming tired and disappointed. “I was a fool to think you were ready.”

Sigyn and Loki exchanged looks, hers exasperated, fearing what that might mean. The brunette took a step back to turn to his father.

“Fatcher…” But Odin interrupted him before he could even start, causing Loki to go back closer to Sigyn.”

“Thor Odinson… You have betrayed the express command of your King.” Sigyn swallowed hard, her eyes widening and, instinctively, approached Loki, holding his arm seeking some sort of comfort, even though she knew he was the wrong person to ask for such thing. “Though your arrogance and stupidity, you’ve opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war!” Odin’s voice was angry and determined. He walked to the center where Heimdall usually putted his sword to activate the Bifrost, and place his own staff, illuminating the place with a strong and almost blinding light. Sigyn had to blink a few times to get used to the sudden light, her hand gripping tighter Loki’s arm, tears threatening to run down her face, already figuring out what the All-Father would do with his own son. “You are unworthy of these realms,” Odin got closer to Thor all of the sudden, starting to tear away a few details of his son’s armor. “You’re unworthy of your title,” Thor’s red cape, that Thor wore with such pride, flew away when Odin ripped away from him and walked away from his own son. “You’re unworthy of the loved ones you have betrayed,” Loki and Sigyn watched everything with open mouth; tears already streaming down the blonde woman’s face, whilst Loki seemed to get a better hold of his own tears. Then, Odin raised his hand, aiming it towards Thor. “I know take from you your power!” The hammer flew away from the blonde’s hand, straight to the King’s hand. Sigyn closed her eyes, resting her forehead on Loki’s shoulder as they listed to the end of the sentence. “In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!”

It all happened to fast, in a blink of an eye, Thor was sucked into the Bifrost light and disappeared. Loki moved away a little, turning towards Sigyn and raising an arm to embrace her, while Odin dictated the new rule for Mjolnir to be wielded again, throwing the hammer across the rainbow bridge shortly thereafter. Once the bridge was closed, silence took over, Sigyn keeping her eyes closed as tears kept streaming down her face unashamedly. She had never imagined that Odin would make such a tough and drastic decision, but on the other hand, she wasn’t as surprised as she should have been.

It was only when the King left the place, and Heimdall followed him to receive his new orders, that Sigyn finally became aware of her current situation.

She didn’t care about the fact she was crying, but about the fact that it was happening on Loki’s arms, being comforted by him, knowing he was the last person she wanted to be comforted by.

With a certain aggressiveness, the woman turned away from the brunette, her hands fisting in the face of her desire to punch the man. He looked at her without understanding her reaction. Sigyn ran a hand over her face, trying to brush away the tears, and raised her hand as soon as the brunette tried to approach her.

“Don’t you dare,” she said, her voice threatening and determined.

“Sigyn…”

“He is your brother!” She screamed, facing him. “You may want to deceive your father and mother, but not me, Loki! I told you earlier: I learned my lesson. No one will suspect you, and they won’t believe me either if I try to say something, so you don’t have to try to please me so I will keep my mouth shut.” She started to walk away but stop and turned to look at him, her eyes catching Thor’s red cape thrown on the floor. “It should have been you instead of him.”

Green eyes turned cold and hard, rigid expression as he watched her walk away, incapable of thinking of something to say back to her, or even a reaction. His will was to throw her out of that bridge. But it was Sigyn, after all, and he couldn’t even fathom the thought of doing her any harm. One day he would like to understand the magic she carried with her, which seemed to affect him and prevent him from hating her as he would like.

It was the dumbest irony of all, that he would have a perfect match. And that she was that other half. Everyone expected him to find someone who would change, fix him, and there was someone there who could try, but she didn’t even bother, aware that Loki was just a lost case.

The days went by and everyone missed Thor’s presence. Sigyn went back to her previous stage of years before, isolating herself in her bedroom and not leaving home anymore. As much as her mom begged her not to get back to square one. However, how was she supposed to walk around Asgard when everyone knew what she had done? Loki’s attempt on trying to defend her had done nothing in her favor, claiming it was his request to tell Odin about Thor’s plan, everyone was just to pissed about the blonde’s exile, and they all blamed her. Including herself.

Every night Sigyn had the same dream about the scene she had witnessed, and many times Thor would drag her with him on the last moment, taking her with him on his exile. It was painful and kept her up at night, lost in doubts regarding her acts and that made her unaware of the constant presence on her window. Because Loki suffered from her suffering, he suffered from losing her again, as he had done years ago, through his own fault. It was his greatest power, he had come to conclusion one night, to drive everyone away. Perhaps it was due to the semi-discovery he had made during the invasion of Jotunheim, the constantly found himself staring at his hand and arm, the imagine of him turning blue when touched by the Giant haunting him was his nightmare. In a way, it was comforting to know that at least something still connected him do Sigyn: the constant nightmares.

On one night, he finally left his post under Sigyn’s window and went back to the castle, invading the vault to get some answers. The box the jotuns had tried to steal being his main target, and how Loki wished he hadn’t done it, that he had remained in ignorance. The brunette closed his eyes, putting together some courage and breaking in Sigyn’s bedroom, a delicate touch spreading calm and peace through the woman’s body, that started to toss and turn. He wanted her company, wanted to tell someone what he had found out, wanted someone to know… But no one would hear him, no one would look at him the same way. And no one was worthy enough to deserve a confession from him. No one, but her.

“You’re right to keep your distance,” he whispered, touching her face with a delicacy he never thought would have. “I’m a monster… A tool in Odin’s hands… An abomination.” Sigyn turned on her sleep, if she had been awake, that would probably compare to her getting more comfortable to give him her undivided attention. “See, theoretically, I’m still a Prince, I still have a right to a throne… Not the throne you would expect to see me. No… Not this throne. How could I? Being one of _them_ …” He stared at his own hand, watching it turning blue again, just an illusion created by his mind. “Father just wanted to use me… Unite the people, peace through me.” Loki have a humorless laugh, finding how ironic it was that he of all people should bring peace to somewhere.

After that one-sided conversation between them, Odin had fallen ill and found himself on a deep sleep. Giving Loki the opportunity to take the throne he wanted so much. The kingdom had barely recovered from Thor’s exile, and now they were mourning their King. Loki closed his eyes, remembering the last words he had spoken to his father, as the man would never allow a Frost Giant on his throne, and now here he was, occupying it as he always wished. And now that he finally had it, something was missing. It pissed him off that he would never get a full on moment of pleasure, happiness, of feeling he had conquered everything. Because there, laying peacefully asleep, in front of him, was the only thing he had missed any chance of getting back. And with her there was no use in using tricks of magic or some articulate plan to deceive her. Sigyn was smarter than anyone else, especially when it came to him. She would never be fooled by his mischievousness.

Loki was destined to rule without a Queen.

“Queen Sigyn,” he said, his finger tracing her upper lip, remembering what it felt like to feel it against his own lips. “It fits you.” Loki slipped his fingers through her neck, noticing a small detail her locks and her nightgown had hidden. Carefully not to wake her, he pulled the silver chain, easily recognizing the necklace he had given her. Instantly his eyes went to her hand, a discreet smile coming to his lips once he confirmed she was also wearing the ring. Despite everything…

She was the only one not to kneel before him when he ascended the throne. He still remembered in vivid details the way she had looked at him sitting at the throne, after offering Frigga her condolences, wielding the staff that once belonged to the All-Father. For her, he couldn’t hold the determined and superior look as he had with everyone else.

Before her, _Loki_ had almost kneeled.

Especially after she turned her back on him and walked away from the castle without showing him any sign of respect. A long time ago, once, he had lost her. But even before, even away from everybody, she had never seemed so unattainable as now. Loki wanted to win back her trust, win her forgiveness. But something about forgiveness was that you had to actually feel regret, was that you had to accept you had done something wrong and then ask for it. And Loki didn’t feel like he was wrong or felt any regret or remorse. And even if he pretended, Sigyn wouldn’t believe him. Even if he was _really_ feeling any remorse, she still wouldn’t believe him.

A few more days passed by until Sigyn gathered enough courage to leave her house and walk around Asgard. Sif coming to visit her and apologize for how they had acted towards her was a great help. And it seemed that she had handpicked the day to come out of the protection of her room.

She had chosen to visit the Bifrost, since it had been a while since the last time she visited the place, and maybe ask Heimdall about Thor and his life in Midgard. When she arrived, the warder was focused on something in front of him. From afar, she had noticed the characteristic light of someone using the bridge for traveling, and she could see from the man’s gaze that something didn’t seem right. He only relaxed when she stopped next to him, a small smile on his lips.

“Milady, it’s good to see you,” he said, nodding towards her.

“Likewise, Heimdall,” she replied, smiling at him. “You seem concerned, what happened?”

“Loki is in Jotunheim.”

“What? Doing what?

“Precisely what I would like to know,” Heimdall replied, looking very uncomfortable. He gazed into the horizon, and then back at her. “I thought you would inquire me about Thor.”

“I was worried for a moment and got distracted.” Sigyn confessed to him, knowing it was no use to try and hide it from him. “How is he?”

“He is doing well… He found someone,” the warder revealed. Sigyn smiled, correctly interpreting the information.

“Has he found the hammer?”

“Yesterday,” Heimdall revealed, his body tensing up once again as he remembered that moment. “He couldn’t lift it thought. I think he is finally giving up and decided to start and adjust to his new reality.”

“I hate this.” Sigyn brushed her hands through her golden locks, yearning to see what the warder could see. “He doesn’t deserve this.”

“A lot of people do not deserve a lot of things,” said Heimdall, looking sideways at her. “And people.”

“Trying to tell me something, Heimdall?”

“I know it would be no use, milady,” the brunette smiled ruefully. “But for what is worth, I am sorry for things not working out between the two of you.”

Sigyn swallowed hard, remembering the last time she had spoken with Loki, of how she had confessed she had wished it was him to be exiled instead of Thor. She had felt good at the time, seeing pain flashing through the brunette’s eyes, but then regret came, even though she knew he didn’t deserve that.

“Well, don’t be,” she said, going back to face the horizon, now trying to imagine what the brunette was doing at the other kingdom. “He’s not worthy.”

“He wished to be. Once.”

“Yes… Once.” She echoed, stepping away so the warder could grab his sword to activate the bridge. Bringing Loki back.

The brunette and the blond faced each other; he seeming to want to say something, but it was Heimdall who broke the silence, showing his distrust of Loki. Sigyn was alarmed when she heard the watchman not only was unable to hear what Loki was saying in Jotunheim, but also couldn’t see him. As soon as the _King_ gave Heimdall his order to keep the Bifrost closed, and withdrew, Sigyn watched for a moment as he walked away, then finally reacting and saying goodbye to Heimdall, and chasing after Loki.

“What were you doing in Jotunheim?” She asked, even though she knew he wouldn’t answer her. He didn’t even seem to mind her for a second. “So you’re ignoring me now?”

“I giving you what you wanted,” he said, leaving her confused until he completed the sentence, “exiling myself from your life.”

“Wow…” she said, incapable of containing her laugh, “that was extremely dramatic even for you. I thought the _King_ should pay equal attention to his subjects.”

That caused him to stop. They were in the middle of the Bifrost, Loki holding the staff and Sigyn slightly out of breath for trying to keep up with his quick steps. Slowly he turned to her, his expression impassive, not allowing her to read him as she always was so capable of doing.

“Now you acknowledge me as a King?” Loki asked her, having no need to explain what his question hinted at, but doing so anyway. “As I recall, last time we saw each other, you didn’t even bother to kneel before me.”

“Your father is in a deep sleep, and all you can think and care about is that I didn’t kneel?” Sigyn stepped closer to him. “Are you really that petty and arrogant?”

“Are you surprised?”

“Chocked by the fact that you won’t try to at least _pretend_ ,” she confessed. Immediately Loki dropped his act; was it really that hard for her to understand that there was no _pretending_ whenever she was around? “What did you do in Jotunheim?”

“King’s business, milady,” he said, getting his act together and turning his back to her, not getting two steps away before she spoke again.

“Is it true?” She asked, her eyes fixated on a random spot in the Bifrost, waiting for Loki to turn back around before carry on with her question. “What Heimdall implied about you being as hidden the same way Giants were… Did you help them?”

Sigyn looked at him, her determined eyes not leaving any margin for him to consider lying, not that he needed to do it, because it seemed she already knew the answer and was just expecting a small sign to get to the bottom of it, and her own conclusions. When she saw the answer, Sigyn nodded and laughed humorlessly, slowly approaching the brunette.

“Are your hatred and envy for your brother so big that you turn to old stories and intrigues to bring so much disgrace into his life?” Sigyn asked. “Is it really worth it?”

Sigyn didn’t give him a chance to answer, walking away and leaving him behind. Now that she had left her room and had found out about Thor’s life, the only think she could thing about was how desolating it was for the blonde man to not being able to lift his hammer. She stopped at the bifurcation that would take her home and the other path that would take her to the castle, where she was sure she would find Sif and the others. A quick look towards the path she had just walked confirmed she was alone and no one was following her. Sigyn took a deep breath and walked towards the castle, her quick steps taking her to the room where they used to hang out, seeming to interrupt an argument.

“Sigyn!” Sif exclaimed when she saw the other woman. The blonde had heard the end of the argument, interpreting correctly what they were planning to do.

“I agree,” she said, almost laughing at everyone’s confused looks. She walked in the room, closing the doors behind her. “Thor, you have to save him. I don’t know what Loki’s plans are, but you need to go.”

“Is this one of your plans?” Fandral asked, the only one who was still having a hard time forgiving her for ratting them to Odin about their invasion on Jotunheim. “Are you officially on Loki’s side?”

“I was never on his side,” Sigyn replied, her voice firm. “Even more in the face of this injustice. You are the only ones capable of bringing Thor back.”

At that moment, the doors she had closed opened up and a guard came on, announcing Heimdall was expecting them. Sigyn suspected that didn’t include her, so she just exchanged quick glances with the warriors, nodding as a way of encouraging them to go on. She walked them out of the castle, then walked away to a spot that would give her a good vision of the Bifrost so she could see the exact moment they would leave for Midgard.

However, there was someone there that had arrived before her. Standing by the small wall, eyes fixed on the bridge, Loki had his back to her, but Sigyn knew he felt her presence there. Without an inch of fear in her, she approached him, her eyes fixed on the horizon just like his.

“You are just as a traitor as they are,” Loki almost whispered to her.

“So arrest me,” she talked back, smiling victoriously when she saw the characteristic glow of the bridge announcing their departure.

Loki looked at her and Sigyn wondered if he was actually considering that option, before he turned his back at her, once again, and walked in the castle. She knew just by his look that nothing good would come from there, but chose not to follow him. All the sudden, she felt too exhausted to try and argue with the brunette.

Sigyn was trying really hard to focus on the book in her hands, but her mind would wander constantly to Midgard, Thor and the others. Had they been successful in bringing him back? Would the blonde be able to stop Loki from destroying the legacy Odin had built over the years? She knew the book was just an excuse, an attempt to trick her mom in case she would come to check how her daughter was doing. Sigyn hadn’t told her everything, thinking it would be better to spare the woman from even more worry; it was enough for Sigyn to worry herself into a frenzy, she didn’t need to bring anyone else with her.

It wasn’t her mom, however, that yanked her out of her thoughts, but the arrival of a bird black as the darkest night that she had seen once many years ago, when she was still just a kid. It had been a while, but she was still capable of recognizing it easily.

“Huginn,” she said, putting the book away to hear the message the raven had for her.

It was just as if she was the mom of an eight-year-old kid, stubborn and malicious. She couldn’t turn her back for ten seconds, or even just a few minutes and chaos ensued. That was how she felt about Loki the last days. The brunette seemed to be incapable of leaving his brother at peace, blind as he was by his hatred and jealousy, his desire and thirst for vengeance that Sigyn couldn’t even begin to comprehend where it came from.

Sigyn ran through the streets of Asgard. Ironically, that day, her dress was green with golden details, once again matching the current king. She ignored every look thrown at her way as she ran as quick as possible, in the hopes of being able to stop the damage that Loki was planning. As much as she knew him – and she was certain she was the only one who knew the most – the woman was still surprised by his attitudes; maybe she was as naïve as Frigga for still hoping, even the slightless, that the brunette could change a little and would be able to left behind all that hurt.

He was sitting in the throne room, occupying his usual place and it seemed to make him even more intimidating for anyone who dared to came in, except for her, who was immersed in her own anger. His eyes went wide when he saw her enter, taking his moment to admire how she looked even more beautiful in green, the details in gold seeming to be an extension of the long curls he had always admired. Her eyes, usually light amber, were dark and angry. She gave him no time to speak first, Loki could barely open his mouth to ask what she was doing here, even though he had an idea already.

“I don’t care what is going on inside your head, or your feelings… You call off that Destroyer now!” She ordered him.

Loki stared at her eyes, feeling the harshness and anger that she felt for him. He wanted to ask how she had discovered, _who_ had told her. It couldn’t be Heimdall, he was frozen, Loki himself had made sure of it. And everyone else that could know about his plans where in Midgard, trying to save his brother. He knew it was useless to ask her, she wouldn’t answer him.

“I am afraid it is too late now,” he replied, keeping his unattainable pose, barely fooling himself. “He won’t stop until my brother dies.”

Sigyn opened her mouth to say something back, but in that moment Thor’s voice resonated through the room and they both stopped. He was seeing and hearing all of that? And sitting here as if he was watching just one of the spectacles that used to be performed at dinner-parties? How could someone be so cruel? Sigyn could barely stay there and listen to Thor’s aching voice.

“Brother, however I have wronged you, whatever I have done that has led you to this, I am truly sorry,” Sigyn couldn’t take her eyes off of Loki, almost running to him to force some reaction out of him that wasn’t him just sitting there hearing his brother’s speech as if it didn’t bother him. “But these people are innocent. Taking their lives will gain you nothing,” Sigyn swallowed a knot in her throat once she predicted what would come next, it was obvious what would follow. “So take mine… And end this.”

“Loki, don’t,” she asked, taking a few steps forward once she realized the brunette had decided to take upon his brother’s offer. She put aside her own stance of strength and determination and wavered before him, her eyes filling with tears just like on the day of Thor’s exile. “Enough with this madness, Loki! Stop this! You already have all the control you always wanted, the throne! Thor is not even asking to return… Loki, please!”

He looked at her. It hurt to see her in pain, but it was even worse to see her begging in _his_ name. As if the blonde hadn’t stolen enough of his victories and everything else. Sigyn was the only person Loki thought he wouldn’t lose to his brother. With her, he actually thought he wouldn’t have to live on the all mighty Thor’s shadow. But there she was, almost kneeling, asking for mercy. Loki had considered her request, even causing the Destroyer to stop for a few moments, but his anger came back to consume him and he managed to project the image of what was going on in Midgard so that she could see the Destroyer, that had started to walk away, come back and deliver the final blow in Thor. Sigyn let out a startled exclamation, taking her hand towards her mouth as she saw Thor flying away, completely lifeless. She also saw Sigh and the Warriors Three, besides another group of people, a woman running towards Thor, whom she judged to be the person who Heimdall had spoken about.

“How could you?” She asked, her voice echoing through the empty room, when the image disappeared. Her focus back on Loki, and even though her tears were running freely, she could see him clearly. “He is your brother!”

Loki swallowed hard, remembering the night he told her sleepy version about his discoveries. It was obvious she wouldn’t remember that night, he wouldn’t be there ruling Asgard if she knew what he had done.

“Have you lost the big announcement? The news of the year?” He asked, getting up and start to come down the stairs, getting on the same level as her, just now noticing how puffy her breathe was, and the necklace she wore, that _he_ had given her, would move in accord to her chest. “I’m adopted. The son of a monster,” Loki almost smiled at her surprised look once she saw him turn his eyes to red and his skin blue with the jotuns’ marks. “And that is what monsters do, they hurt people.”

“Are you saying that to try and convince me or _yourself_?” She asked, her voice unchanged after his attempt to intimidate her, making Loki step back a little.

“Why would I try to convince you of anything?”

“Ah… So you want to convince us both,” she said, crossing her arms.

“I’m not trying to do anything,” he said, turning his back to her and starting to walk away. What this woman had that made him change his entire demeanor? “Just keeping you up to date so there’s no doubt left about you keeping your distance.”

“I thought you were smarter, Loki,” she said, laughing at his pathetic reply. “Yes, I was in love with you before, but I learned my lesson about keeping distance.” Loki would prefer she had kept quiet, or that she would return to yelling at him… Anything but using that low and steady voice. “You don’t need to come at me with all this talk about being a monster to keep me away, _I’ve know this for a long time._ ”

He stopped and turn his head to look at her, but in that moment something caught his attention and, once again the image of Midgard was being projected on the room. Sigyn looked at what was happening, ignoring completely the way Loki’s body was tensing up.

It was blowing hard on Earth, and Sigyn was sure she could feel the winds hit her face. Then, a lightning bolt cut through the sky and the sound of thunder exploded shortly after, seeming to hit Thor in the face. The woman smiled, remembering of Thor’s exile and the sentence Odin had given, the new rule for whoever would be able to wield Mjolnir. Thor had just proven himself worthy of wielding the hammer. And she watched with extreme joy when the blonde man came of the dark clouds, his red cape moving in accord to the wind behind him, the armor back on his body, as it should’ve always been.

From where he was standing, Loki gasped, unable to believe what he was seeing. The Destroyer still tried to attack the blonde, but Thor hadn’t given him a chance and Sigyn celebrated when the machine fell to the ground, defeated.

Sigyn just turned to say something when the image disappeared once again and Loki remained quiet, static.

“You see, Loki… Sacrifice, altruism,” she said, turning to him, enjoying more than anything the expression in his face. “You want to be worthy? Worthy of the throne, of all the attention… Of _me_? Show me, us, some compassion, some feeling.” Sigyn started to walk away. Her voice now even more soft and low, as the brunette was used to hearing. “You can’t win a war if you fighting on your own. And you will never understand that, so you will never win.”

And, once again, Asgard was celebrating. Thor was back, Odin had woken up and Loki was given dead after the destruction of the Bifrost. If the kingdom already liked to celebrate for any occasion, those three asked for a party that would last for days and days. Everybody was excited, with the exception of Thor, that was still dealing with the loss of his only way of seeing Jane, and Sigyn. She had seen from afar the battle between the brothers, Thor sacrificing himself once again by destroying the Bifrost, and Loki falling. She wanted to run towards him and save him, but she knew it was impossible. Loki was beyond saving, in every sense of the word.

Sigyn and Heimdall were standing together by the edge of the broken bridge when Thor joined them. The woman smiled, hugging him tightly, a habit she had acquired ever since the battle was over and he officially returned home. Sigyn was comforted to feel him embracing her with the same intensity, both trying to glue together the broken pieces into each other. Both were mourning, each for different reasons. Sigyn stepped back, laughing lightly when she saw her black dress had stuck in his armor.

“So Earth is lost to us…” Sigyn frowned, noticing the slight sadness on the god’s voice.

“No,” Heimdall replied, his eyes always fixed on somewhere in the horizon. “There’s always hope.”

“Can you see her?” Thor asked and Sigyn smiled. She hadn’t even met the other woman or listened to the stories Thor had yet to tell, but she liked her already.

“Yes.”

“How is she?”

“She searches for you,” Heimdall told him. Sigyn’s smile grew even larger and she approached the blonde man, putting an arm around his waist and feeling him put his around her shoulders. Sigyn tried to stare at the same spot Heimdall was looking at, as if she could see anything.

“Of course she is,” she looked at him at the exact moment his lips opened on a smile. “Are you finally gonna tell me about her?”

“Are you finally telling me how you’re really feeling?”

The woman frowned and quickly said goodbye to Heimdall when Thor did the same towards her and started to drag them away from the Bifrost. They both had been avoiding sensitive subjects, but it seemed they had finally reached a dead end and there was no more running away from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I was lazy, didn't I?
> 
> Took me awhile to finally fight my laziness and procrastination issues and sit down to translate this. Those chapters are so long, tho, and I regret this lol, just kidding, I don’t, but it’s hard.
> 
>  **Up next:** two years has passed since Loki's death, and we go to Midgard/Earth to see the chitauri invasion. I wonder what can go wrong lol.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment and/or some kudos to motivate a very lazy author.
> 
> Love, Blue 💙


	3. Chapter 3

_I know I could lie, but I won’t lie to you_

_Wherever I go, you’re the ghost in the room_

Two years had passed since Loki’s death. The mourning for his loss ended up uniting Thor and Sigyn even more, who were constantly seen together walking around on the corridors and streets of Asgard, whenever the God wasn’t busy training and exercising. Since what had happened, Sigyn had even lost the habit of walking to the destroyed Bifrost, now a constant reminder of what she had lost – even though she thought to be impossible losing something you’ve never had. Because that was the honest cruel truth: even though they shared a kiss, even with all the gifts, even with all the little stolen moments, Loki was never hers, and he would never be even if he had survived. The brunette had convinced himself that he wasn’t worthy of what she had to offer, and no one, especially Sigyn, could change his mind.

It was painful and she had nightmares at night, reliving his fall to the ocean beneath them. Every now and again, he dragged her with him and she wondered how it would be like to spend eternity with him. Maybe then Loki would free himself and allow to be the person he always wanted to be in front of everyone, especially in front of her. Other times, she just felt the tears rolling down her face as she kept the pendant of her necklace in her hands.

Many times she considered herself a fool for still suffer for someone that, being the other way, wouldn’t be hurting as much. And it was in those moments that Thor would join the picture, after all, he was suffering as well. Having always expected his brother’s redemption, the pain he felt sometimes was managed to be bigger than Sigyn’s. Because it wasn’t just a feeling of loss, it was remorse and a great amount of regret and “what ifs” that took away his peace.

That was why they both had come up with a routine that wasn’t healthy at all, but no one dared to intrude. Thor trained hard as ever, always wanting to be prepared for a war, any war, but even more determined to destroy as many targets as possible. And Sigyn would seclude herself in books, every once in a while joining the blonde’s training. At night, they were seen together at the feasts, always isolated – at least Sigyn, Thor managed to be more sociable. But ever since the events that culminated on the destruction of the Bifrost, Sigyn couldn’t feel at home anymore. She still felt the looks behind her back, people judging and whispering about her. Even if it was all in her head, it was a torture she couldn’t take anymore.

The dinner was almost over when guards came in and informed that the All-Father was expecting Thor and Sigyn at the throne room. The both of them, that had spent the night apart, exchanged quick looks from where they were sitting and quickly went to answer the King’s request. Sigyn could feel her hands shaking already, and her anxiety only grew when Thor confirmed he had no idea what this was about. Odin had never made such an urgent call, and he never gathered the two of them to talk at the same time. As much as they tried to deny, they both new it was about Loki. Hope quickly coming out of the box they had buried it in in face of the possibility of they finally finding Loki’s body, and that he was actually alive.

“Father,” Thor said as soon as they walked in.

“My King,” said Sigyn, doing the usual curtsy to the man.

“Come,” asked Odin, who was not sitting in his throne as per usual. Instead, he was standing, looking at the city through one of the windows of the room. Sigyn and Thor approached him cautiously, exchanging confused but hopeful looks. “Maybe you already know the reason I called both of you.”

“Father…” Thor starting, his voice strangled. “Loki…”

“Lives,” Odin was straight to the point, probably unaware of the havoc his chosen word caused. It was just one word, but it had done more damage than any other ever could. Sigyn thanked Thor’s presence by her side, for giving her something to hold on to and gather her balance. It seemed like she was living one of her dreams. “And that is why you must leave, Thor.”

“Where is he?” Sigyn asked, barely being able to concentrate enough to steady her heartbeats.

“Midgard,” revealed Odin. “And no, it isn’t for peaceful purposes.”

“Jane…”

“Is safe,” Odin assured him before Thor could no anything reckless. “Your brother has other plans. And he is not on his own.”

“Father?” Even Sigyn had noticed the change in Odin’s voice, but chose to remain quiet, she was working on taking down a notch all the hope regarding Loki changing, it was _obvious_ that that wouldn’t happen anytime soon, if ever.

“Loki is in possession of a dangerous weapon,” informed Odin. “It is a long story, for which we do not have the time. You must go, Thor, before it’s too late. You are the only one that could possibly stop him.”

Sigyn considered offering herself to go with him, but she didn’t feel as if she had the right. Odin would send her if he so wished, right? She watched as Thor followed his father’s order and set out to get ready for his trip to Midgard. The All-Father assured he had already talked with Heimdall about the trip, and the warder was waiting for him. The woman waited until his friend had left the room to turn to the King. He was already pretty old, but under the moonlight and facing all those news, he seemed to have aged even more. Sigyn and Thor mourned Loki’s loss a lot, but they never stopped to consider how much that loss had affected the King and the Queen – Frigga was rarely seen in public ever since what had happened.

“My King, forgive me for the indelicacy, but…”

“Yes, child?” Odin encouraged her to keep going.

“I understand why you wanted to talk to Thor, but why am _I_ here?”

“Sigyn, dearie,” Odin said, for the first time looking away from the landscape and turning to her. His eye was kind, just like the small smile in his face. “I am terribly sorry for your involvement in all of this, I know my son wasn’t very good to you… But I am afraid that, in the end, you may be our only hope.”

“Sir?”

“I am the All-Father, Sigyn, I know everything that happens in Asgard,” he said, and she didn’t need any more explanations as to what he was referring to. “I know we weren’t the only ones to be affected by Loki’s actions.” The King smiled, starting to walk around the room. Sigyn followed him, staying a few steps behind. “When you were just kids, Frigga always talked about the day you and Thor would marry. Only years later, when you came back to court, did we realize how blind we were.”

She felt the blush in her face. One thing was to hear Frigga and her mom talking about her future. Something else completely different was to hear Odin, King of Asgard and protector of the Nine Realms, being completely aware of the plans of the matriarchs. The man had to worry about the protection of the entire universe pretty much, and still be aware of his wife’s plans for their children.

“Frigga always hoped you would be able to bring the best in Loki,” said Odin after a quiet moment. “And, please, be aware we do not blame you for anything that happened. On the contrary, we are grateful. And we are very sorry for not being able to realize beforehand the mistake we made in treating them so differently.”

“I don’t think you are to blame, my King, or the Queen,” said Sigyn. “Maybe it was Loki’s fate all along, and you just postponed. From the start Loki was lost.”

“It is a very cold way of looking at the situation.”

“It’s the effect Loki has on the people that try to get close,” the woman replied, smiling ruefully at the king, who was looking back at her.

“I’m hoping you will be able to reverse this effect,” said the King, going back to their initial topic. “I don’t mean to put you in any hard situation, but I would like to know if I can count on you when, and if, the time comes.”

“Of course, my King,” said Sigyn, not even considering denying a straight request from Odin. “Whatever you need.”

Obviously Sigyn had been tense since Odin talked to her. If she had barely slept before, now, if she had been able to close her eyes for more than two hours at night, it was a big victory. Her talk with Odin didn’t leave her mind and she couldn’t think of anything else. She had even relived it with her mom, and the woman was unable to find anything to calm her daughter down, herself very tense at the possibility of Sigyn getting involved again with the brunette. Before, Dahlia thought it could be a good match, but when everything happened two years ago, and Sigyn had finally filled her in, the woman had quickly changed her mind.

Happily, Sigyn didn’t have to wait much, and one morning she got the visit of Muninn, Odin’s second raven. She had never run so much in her life, ignoring everyone that eyed her in curiosity as she ran towards the throne room. When she stopped at the door of the great room, her already shallow breath seemed to disappear completely when she saw Thor standing there. The blonde man seemed more tired and miserable then before. Mjolnir in hand. The woman swallowed hard, her stomach seeming to drop completely inside of her.

“What happened?” She asked, forgoing all the cordialities and not curtsying Odin accordingly, not that the King seemed to mind.

“I told you this moment would come, Sigyn,” said the King, getting her attention. “Thor needs you.”

“Sigyn, forgive me,” the blonde said. “I wouldn’t be here unless I…”

“It’s okay,” she gave him an assuring smile. “When do we leave?”

“Would you like a moment to say goodbye to your parents?” Odin asked. “They are here in the palace.”

“They are aware, sir,” the woman informed. “They understand.”

“I am really sorry,” Thor said as they walked towards the place they were going to take off.

“Do you really think it’s going to work?” She asked.

Thor opened his mouth to answer her, but they already were lifting off and Sigyn lost herself to that experience. She felt her stomach churning and couldn’t pay attention to the details around her. She didn’t like high speeds very much, Thor had offered her to fly with him countless times, just so she could know what it would feel like, and the woman always denied it. And now she was sure she would hate every moment.

“I don’t want to do that ever again,” she said when she felt solid ground underneath her.

“We still have the trip back,” Thor joked, smiling at her but concerned at the same time.

“Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it,” she said, looking around them. “Where are we?”

It was a weird building, definitely different from everything in Asgard. The people dressed differently and there wasn’t the usual golden glow from the palace in the distance, on the contrary, it seemed the only color around was gray. They were in front of a huge tower; a letter fallen next to them, completely destroyed. Around them it was complete chaos. She had a slight notion of what Loki had done. It wasn’t difficult to recognize the chitauri attacking the city. Screams and explosions were heard everywhere.

“New York,” said Thor, as if that mean anything to her. “Loki is up there.”

“Thor, this is…”

“I know,” he said, handing her something. “Put this in your year, it’s how I’ll communicate with you.”

Thor took her to the top of the tower, away from Loki. He told her he would try to talk with his brother, and she could walk in whenever she felt the need to. Sigyn could feel her entire body trembling, the palms of her hands sweating and her heart betting faster as ever. She swallowed hard whenever she heard the sound of the chitauri around them.

Sigyn walked in the building, the room with the glass wall completely empty and signs of fight. She followed along, listening to Thor yelling at Loki. Her entire body was cold, she didn’t want to keep going, she didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to see what he had become. But her mission was clear, stop the destruction of that innocent people. And if both Thor and Odin trusted her, Sigyn couldn’t give up. From a distance, she saw Loki and Thor staring at each other before they started to fight. Her heart lost a beat, the battle on the Bifrost seeming to happen in front of her all over again. She got closer, being able to better understand what they were arguing, or, exactly what Thor was saying in the hopes of persuade his brother to give up all of that madness. Sigyn saw the exact moment he got the dagger and knew what would follow next.

“No!” She screamed, finally giving away her position. But it was pointless, Loki stabbed the dagger on his brother’s chest, as his look searched for her.

“Sentiment,” said Loki, his expression impassive as he watched Thor’s change as he felt the dagger pierce his skin.

As the blonde fell, Loki stared at the woman behind him. Her eyes flew according to the wind, just like the Asgardian dress she was wearing. Loki could see the discreet shine of the thin silver chain around her neck, he quickly searched for her hands, noting with some displeasure that they were bare. Even with the chaotic background, she looked as beautiful as any other day. Exactly the way he remembered. Except for her face, which said or showed nothing, a completely close book for Loki. A forbidden reading. There were some remnants of tears on her face from when she’d seen the attack on Thor, but they had already stopped falling.

“So he brought you,” said Loki, looking at her. “What? He thought if he brought you, if you showed up her, it would make me give up? And you believed?

“You offend me if you think I’m that naïve.” Her voice was cold, in a way he never heard before. It was foreign to see her like that. Cold and distant. It didn’t fit her, but seemed to fit like a glove for the present situation. “I’ve learned my lesson, Loki, I told you…I learned with the best.” Sigyn quirked an eyebrow, a glimpse of something flashing in her eyes when she realizes how that had affected him.

“So what are you doing here?”

“Obeying my King’s orders,” Sigyn licked her lips, wondering whether or not to continue. It was a lie, but Loki would have no way of knowing that. “Complying to my Queen’s request.”

Jackpot. Loki’s weakness. The brunette swallowed had, causing Sigyn to smile. She approached him, raising her hands and resting them on the God’s shoulders, admiring what he was wearing without a shame. The armor fit him like a glove. At last, she stared at his face. The green eyes that still haunted her dreams. The lips that, sometimes, she could feel against her own. On an impulse, she answered to a long-repressed desire, rising on her tiptoes and pressing her lips against his briefly, lasting no more than mere seconds, but long enough to make Loki wrap an arm around her.

It was necessary all of the strength she had in her body to break their touch, ignoring her fast heartbeats and the butterflies in her stomach. But Sigyn pushed away, putting a good distance between them. She reached behind her neck; her fingers finding the clasp on the necklace she for almost five years, loosening and removing it from her skin. When she looked back at him, for a brief second Loki looked defeated, broken.

“Good luck, Loki,” Sigyn said, seeming to really mean it. She took a step closer, taking the brunette’s hand and opening it to put the necklace there.

“You’re leaving? So soon?” He asked playfully, trying to disguise how much her act had affected him. She smiled sadly, closing the God’s fingers around the necklace.

“I can’t,” she replied. “I came to Midgard with a purpose.”

“Your purpose failed,” said Loki, a slight note of despair in his voice for fearing what he saw in the woman’s eyes.

“That was Odin’s purpose,” Sigyn started to walk away, hearing Thor’s voice in her ear telling her he was close to take her somewhere else. “Mine is to help and try to minimize the damage caused by you.”

“You will die.”

“And you’ll have to live with that.”

It was as if someone had punched him in the stomach. As Thor appeared to take her away, Loki could only stare at the place where she had been before and feel her disdain. The necklace was cold in his hands, matching how he felt. Loki looked around, facing the chaos he had installed; a part of him admiring and loving that view, at the same time the other feared what that could cause him. Sigyn was there, she wouldn’t leave as expected, as was the _right_ thing to do. No, she would stay to try and compensate for the damages caused by him. As if she blamed herself for what Loki was doing.

۰ℓ۰

The nurse was finishing the bandage on the wound on her eyebrow when Thor arrived, still in his Asgardians clothes, still dirty with dust and sooth, but without the hammer, which Sigyn thanked – she was terrified of that hammer, even though she had no reason for it. The blonde looked at her with concern when he saw her appearance, despite the fact that the woman thought it could be a lot worse. She hadn’t looked at herself in the mirror yet, but from the little bits and pieces she saw of her body – exposed due to the rips in her dress – there were some bruises and cuts through her arms and chest. Her face had been affected as well, but given the small care given to that part, it wasn’t as bad as the rest of her body. Sigyn was almost sure she had sprained her ankle or done something really bad with it, because every now and again she felt a slight discomfort, something that had been take care of by the nurse.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she complained, noticing the way Thor analyzed her. “I’m fine.”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“ _You_ called me!”

“I mean her, in the infirmary,” he clarified, pointing to the place where they were. He waited until the nurse leave the room to start talking again. “You are not a warrior.”

“You offend me, Thor,” she said, smiling at him. “But you brought me to Midgard to help, and that’s what I did. At least I tried.”

“It wasn’t _that_ kind of help that I wanted when I went after you,” he observed, seeming in pain every time he looked at the woman. Sigyn lowered her head, knowing what he meant. “I’m sorry it didn’t work,” Thor said, interpreting completely wrong the disappointment in her eyes. “I really thought that…”

“I know,” she agreed, staring him again, not caring at all for what he would see in her eyes. “I always knew who Loki was; why do you think I kept my distance? Why do you think I never allowed that anything… Or _almost_ anything happened between us? I know your brother carries a ‘danger’ sign over his head, I’m not blind.”

“Then why did you agree to come?”

“Because _you_ needed to see that too,” Sigyn said, almost laughing at the way the man reacted to that. Years ago she would never have thought one day she would answer him so bluntly; such was the respect she had for him. But after everything they had been through, every night they spent awake talking about every detail of each other’s life, nurturing that friendship, she wasn’t afraid of talking to him anyway she felt like. “He almost killed you, Thor, and even so you still hope there’s a spark of good in his body. He is the God of Mischief; how can you expect anything good from him?”

Thor chose not to answer to that, Sigyn could see he wanted to find arguments against her, but after all the destruction the brunette had caused on Earth, there wasn’t anything that could be said in his favor. The man took advantage of the return of the nurse to confirm his friend’s status, even though she was right in front of him and could answer for herself. Sigyn could see there was something bothering the blonde man, and he was distracting himself with other subjects – after all, why would someone request for such detailed report of someone that seemed perfectly fine in front of him? But Thor wouldn’t give in, so she just rolled her eyes and waited patiently for the nurse to answer to all of the blonde’s questions.

“Thor…” Sigyn spoke again, noticing the man was about to ask a new question. The woman turned to the nurse. “Thank you very much for your patience, that’s all for today.”

“I’m not finished,” said Thor, looking at the nurse, that seemed to agree with Sigyn and started to go away.

“Yes, you have,” said the woman, looking at the man in front of her with a smile on her face. “You’re terrible at hiding stuff, you know that?”

“I’m not hiding anything.”

“And you’re also a terrible liar,” she added. Sigyn’s face grew serious, quirking an eyebrow towards Thor. “What are you not telling me?”

If Thor was uncomfortable before, it was nothing compared to how he was acting now. Sigyn could feel his discomfort as if it was in her, squirming on the bed she was put on until the nurse was done with her. Whatever it was that Thor was hiding, it was about her, and if her instincts were right (and they almost always were), it involved Loki as well. The woman bit her lower lip, regretting shortly after when she felt the pain that remembered her the cut she had there.

“Thor, what is it?” She asked when he said nothing.

“We captured him… Loki,” he said. Sigyn felt all the air leaving her lungs, sighing with relief. Part of her was expecting for Loki to die in the battle, it was the best scenario to deal with, better than living alongside him, knowing everything he had done to innocent people. Up until that moment, she thought that was a big part of her, but when she felt her heart beating more relieved and the sigh she let out, the woman understood that she had tried to fool herself again. “As soon as S.H.I.E.L.D. is done with him, I’ll bring him back to Asgard. Him and the Tesseract.

“Do you think is the right thing? Putting them together in the same place?” She asked, trying to focus on the Tesseract and the damage the brunette had caused in just a few days, ignoring the fact that Loki was alive and well.

“I don’t think it would be safe anywhere else,” Thor confessed, the affirmation seeming to fail to convince even him. “As soon as you feel okay for the trip and they finish with him, we’ll go back to Asgard.”

That made Sigyn freeze. Go back to Asgard was definitely in her plans, but the idea of going back with Loki, of seeing him again, of looking him in the eyes and not find a sparkle whatsoever of regret made her stop in her tracks. They would be living in the same space again, even though Loki would be sent to prison and she would be free to come and go as she pleased. But Sigyn knew it wouldn’t be completely true, because she would try to visit him, she would see him every day if she was allowed to, and Thor wouldn’t deny any request made by her. The blonde had many hopes regarding his brother, and if there was de slightest chance of him falling in love and leave aside that life of destruction and betrayal, then Thor would take.

Her hesitance didn’t go unnoticed by the God of Thunder, who looked at her curiously and questioningly; his blue eyes trying to see her beyond the surface.

“Milady?” Sigyn almost laughed, it had been awhile since the last time he called her like that. Ever since their friendship resurfaced and she had threatened to cut his hair in his sleep, Thor had left behind that formality. Loki being the only one to use more frequently.

“That’s old,” she joked, smiling at him; a smile that never reached her eyes.

“What is wrong?”

Sigyn couldn’t point out exactly what was wrong, but she knew it didn’t sound right to her ears or her head the idea of going back to Asgard in the company of the two Gods. If asked, she would deny it to her last breath, but hearing the disdain in Loki’s voice, seeing the way he behaved towards the Midgardians and knowing a little about his thoughts, it had hurt. She had lied to Thor earlier, lied to everybody, because there was, yes, a sparkle of hope when she accepted the blonde’s request to come to Earth and try to help him to stop that battle before it was too late.

But Loki was toxic, always had been and she had allowed to be intoxicated by him. She needed to get rid of that, of the spell he didn’t even needed to cast to win her over. Before he could consider her a possibility in his life, the woman already considered him a part of hers, never stopping to think how that was dangerous and harmful.

“I can’t go back,” she said, her voice a mere whisper. If it wasn’t for the complete silence in the room, Thor wouldn’t have heard her. Sigyn face the floor, feeling the God’s eyes on her, but incapable to face him back.

“Sigyn…” He started, the woman already hearing in his voice his intentions. Sigyn began to deny vehemently, giving the blonde no chance to continue any speech that was popping up in his mind. With some difficulty, not hiding the tears that were beginning to fill up her eyes, she looked at him.

“I can’t, Thor,” she said, aware of the face she was making as she tried to control her tears. “I may know how Loki is, how he acts… I may be aware of his nature, but that doesn’t mean is less painful. The things he is capable of doing, Thor, I… I can’t live with that. It was already painful enough to love him knowing what he was capable of… It’s even worse now that I’ve seen what he did.

“ _Love him?_ Sigyn, you didn’t…”

“Is that really a surprise?”, she asked, seeing in his eyes that he wasn’t really surprised, just wanting to confirm it. Sigyn rubbed a hand over her face, wiping away the few tears that had managed to escape and then looked back at the blonde. “I’m staying her, and you’re going to help me to hide from him.”

“Me?”

“You’re the only person capable of it,” she said. “Loki knows I stayed, he saw me fighting,” she remembered; the glimpse of the Asgardian watching her with a touch of anger in his eyes had caused goosebumps all over her body before, and it was doing the same now all over again. “I don’t know if he’s going to ask about me, I won’t lose any sleep thinking about it… But if he does, you’ll say I died. You’ll say that my body was taken to Asgard, to my family and the ceremony happened already.

“Sigyn, what about your family?” Thor asked, just know that she had mentioned it remembering Loki wasn’t the only one involved in her decision.

“You’ll say the same thing,” she said. “But you’ll tell them another story to explain the absence of my body. Tell them you couldn’t recognize me, or they didn’t allow… I don’t know, it’s up to you, as long as no one other than you, and Heimdall, obviously, know the truth.”

Thor looked at her deeply, his blue eyes seeming to invade her and seeing beyond that strong surface that was the only thing she showed, but at that moment Sigyn decided to make things easier for him. She was so tired she didn’t have the strength to keep that façade. And Thor saw everything she was trying to hide; the pain she felt, not for her bruises, but for his brother’s actions; the pain of the unrequited and impossible passion that she had nurtured for who knows how long; the pain of the games Loki played with her, and that Sigyn played back with mastery, almost as if she had come up with that game alongside the brunette. Thor wanted to take her back home, to her family and her homeland, but he knew it was the best option for the woman now. Sigyn always made good decisions, the only exception being falling in love with his brother – but even that one she was able to enjoy the best of a bad situation – he wasn’t going to start now to doubt the woman’s action.

“We have a few days until they decide to let Loki go, at least let me help you find somewhere to stay,” he asked. “I know some good people.”

“Will I finally meet the Midgardian lady?” Sigyn asked, finally allowing a true smile illuminate her face. Thor smiled back, approaching the blonde woman to do something he rarely did with anyone else: hug her.

۰ℓ۰

It had been a week since the Battle of New York. Thor couldn’t take anymore not doing anything, just waiting on other people’s decisions. What helped him a little bit was helping Sigyn to get accommodated in her new life on Earth. Jane had welcomed her with open arms, assuring him that she would help her to adapt and had even started to explain some complicate concepts to her when Thor finally left – after promising for millionth time that no one but him and Heimdall would know about the truth regarding her.

That morning, he had finally received a message from Natasha informing him that Loki was clear to go back to Asgard, as was the Tesseract. The Asgardian got dressed and follow to the holding cell where they kept his brother, not surprised to find him holding the same superior pose as ever. It was as if he had just won the battle, or that was what Loki wanted everyone to believe. Thor stared at him as the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents put on the devices that would keep his powers turned off. He also noticed the brief case holding the Tesseract, knowing that Banner and Stark had created a device that would help him control the power of the cube enough for them to make the trip back.

It didn’t go unnoticed to the blonde the way Loki looked at everyone around them; the Avengers reunited to see the two Gods leaving, wanting to make sure the brunette wouldn’t try to pull any last act. Thor knew what he was looking for, or, as a matter of fact, _who_ he was looking for. He could give that answer to the question his brother would never ask, but the blonde chose to remain in silent, saying quick goodbyes to his team mates before positioning himself in front of Loki, making his brother hold one handle of the device whilst he held the other. The doubt on the green eyes were clear, and Thor would laugh had been any other situation.

“Ready?” The blonde asked, not waiting for an answer, turning the handle and conjuring the bridge that would take them back to Asgard.

The trip was quick, even more comfortable then usually when they would use the Bifrost, still destroyed. At the end, they found themselves at the entrance of the throne room, where Odin waited for them to give Loki his sentence. Knowing his father had increased security against Loki’s magic, Thor removed the device in his brother’s face, leaving him free to express his doubt, but Loki kept quiet.

And so he remained until he was settled in his new cell, one of the many they had under Asgard. Odin had confessed that the only reason he was, and would remain, alive was per Frigga’s request, who still had some hope regarding her adopted son. Loki didn’t show any reaction, receiving his sentence in complete silence. Thor knew his brother until everything was set and done and they were completely alone to, at last, ask what have been bothered his mind. That’s why he had followed the guards until the prison that would now be inhabited by the brunette, saying he was the more apt to dean with his brother than the others – both knowing that was a lie. The cell was completely closed and protect, Thor kept his eyes fixated on his brother, that moved around, getting acquainted with his new home, arms crossed on his chest, waiting for Loki to finally face him and leave his act.

When he finally did, Loki didn’t face him, keeping his back to Thor, the only sign that he was talking to the blonde was the content of the question and the slight turn of his head to the side, as if was enough for him to see his brother through his peripheral vision.

“Where is she?” Ask Loki, his voice low as usual. Thor wanted for him to look at him, so he kept quiet, almost smiling when Loki gave in and faced him. “Brother, _where is she?_ ” His voice raised a little, but still sounded like a whisper, now sounding more threatening, as if he believed he could actually do anything in case Thor decided to not answer him. But the blonde didn’t want to torture him, it would be painful enough what would come next.

“She didn’t make it,” Thor revealed, his face showing how painful it was to say that, even though he knew it wasn’t true. “A chitauri attacked her, we couldn’t get to her in time.”

“You’re lying,” said Loki, started to approach the wall of the cell. His steps slow and calculated as if he as a lion ready to strike. “I saw her fighting, she didn’t seem to be in trouble.”

“She wasn’t a warrior, Loki,” Thor answered, making sure to keep the verb in past tense. “I don’t know how much she handled, but I know what I saw,” Thor remembered of a detail, his eyes turning to a place inside the cell, where there was a nightstand with some books Loki had requested. “You can see as well, if you don’t believe me.”

Loki turned his eyes in the same direction as his brother, noticing something weird on top of the books he had requested. Cautiously, the brunette approached the nightstand, from a distance already being able to recognize the content of those photographs. Sigyn’s pale, lifeless body was stamped on those photographs, something that came from Midgard, for sure. There were bruises and cuts on her face, that face that didn’t even deserve to be threatened by a knife, as it was so precious. The characteristic pallor left him no doubt that what Thor was saying was real, even if a part of him didn’t want to admit – or accept – it yet.

He felt something rising in side of him, in his heart, a feeling he recognized as anger mixed with something unknown to him. The God refused to touch the photos, turning back to Thor, his eyes almost pleading.

“And her body?”

“The ceremony happened already,” said Thor, knowing where his brother was getting at. “I brought her as soon as possible. Her family didn’t want to wait too long.”

_Wait too long_. Loki couldn’t understand why people were like that. If he had the opportunity, he would never allow to burn the woman’s body. _But you had the opportunity, didn’t you?_ A voice, very similar to hers, whispered in his mind; the moment when Sigyn assured him she didn’t nurtured any hope of him giving up that plan, the moment she returned the necklace coming back in a strong powerful wave and leaving him unbalanced for a moment.

It was his fault. She had gone to Midgard because of him. The last memory of her face that he would have was on those pictures. Instinctively, Loki put his hand around his neck, feeling the delicate silver chain around it, and swallowing hard. There was the true last memory of her. Her words hitting him hard. She had predicted she was going to die and that he would spend the rest of eternity living with that. She had made it clear every time, she had controller his approach. And she continued to control, because now Loki would live his whole life away from her.

“I’m sorry, brother,” said Thor, even though he knew Loki didn’t care about his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God! These two will kill me! Had to add a little " _idiots in love_ " tag because that's what they are, am I right? lol
> 
> What do you think about Sigyn's decision of staying behind and faking her own death?
> 
> **Up next:** Loki and Sigyn's new life away from each other (I can assure you one of them is suffering very hard, care to guess who?) And we go through _Thor - Dark World_ (I'm one of the very few people that actually likes that movie lol).
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment and/or some kudos to motivate a very lazy author.
> 
> Love, Blue 💙


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see how Loki and Sigyn are after what happened last chapter?
> 
> We get a glimpse of Thor: Dark World - no too much because that movie is terrible (but I kinda like it) and I can't barely understant what happens, but we have some good moments before and after all of the big actions.
> 
> Also, had to change the rating because of the first scene.

_Some people try but they can’t find the magic_

_Others get down on their knees and they pray_

Loki sighed, tired and bored out of his mind. He opened his eyes after another troubled dream, facing the ceiling above him and sighing once again. From the corner of the room, he heard a laugh followed by a snort of disdain. The brunette turned his head to the side, finding her sitting with her back against the pillar that sustained the ceiling of the cell, staring at the hallway outside and his cell neighbors; her attention wasn’t focused on him, but Loki knew the laugh had been directed to him.

“Seems like magic can’t hide everything, right?” She joked, turning her amber eyes towards him. Loki couldn’t maintain the eye contact, turning away in mere seconds. “What was it this time?”

She got up, approaching where he was laying down. The green dress with silver details dragging along on the floor since she was barefoot. Loki remembered she had worn an identical dress on one of the feats he was present. He remembered having his breath taken away for the way the dress hugged her body, highlighting her curves, the tone of green bringing out the color of her eyes. It was inevitable to go and talk to her, leaving aside his precautions to cross the room and meet her.

Loki never felt that way when talking to a woman, but there was something about her that just made him freeze. Even Thor had mocked him when they were alone in their chambers. Back then, he could never imagine that someone would be able to affect him so much, especially considering that he didn’t allow that to happen. But Sigyn never required permission to do anything. Who was he to try and change that?

“The pictures?” She asked; her slow steps taking her closer to him, her voice causing shivers down his entire body, and not the good kind. Slowly he sat down, turning his back to her. “The scenes you saw with your own eyes? Or the ones you searched for in Thor’s head?”

Her voice was addictive. He wanted to ask her to stop, but even though it was bringing the most painful memories, he couldn’t make her stop. Her soft and melodic voice filling the void of the cell, bringing him the most painful memories of moments that he didn’t have the opportunity to properly enjoy. No. Of moments he didn’t _want_ to enjoy.

“Or was it the blame?” She was behind him, her voice sounding close to his ear, her breath hitting Loki’s skin, making him swallow hard. It was so real. “Was it the one where you can’t face yourself in the mirror because deep down you know you’re the one to be blamed for? Or was it the one where you can look _me_ in the eyes?” She laughed, the sound reverberating through his entire body. “You think I didn’t notice? You think I can’t notice how you don’t look at me for more than just a few seconds?” Her hands touched his shoulders, making him shiver under the unexpected and undeserving touch. “Hurt, doesn’t it? Now that you’re feeling a little bit of what _I_ used to feel. How does it feel, Loki, tell me, how does it feel to want something you can’t have? What is like to be the intangible Loki Laufeyson, the cruel, the heartless, the soulless… And now have everything you always denied having? How does it feel like to feel pain? How does it feel like to _feel_?”

Her sharp nails dug into his chest, going through the fabric of the white shirt he wore and piercing his skin, reaching his beating heart. She grabbed the organ, feeling it warm due to the pulsing blood. Loki gasped, looking down and seeing his white shirt being stained by the bright red of his blood. The dream came to him due to similar elements and Loki moved away from her, getting up and standing in front one of the cell walls. It was useless, he knew; she was everywhere, and was there again, holding him from behind, hands caressing his chest. Her lips traced a torturous path down the back of his neck, reaching his angular jaw when he turned his face to the side, unable to resist the touch he had longed for so long and wasted.

“Tell me, Loki, what was it this time?” She whispered, placing kisses over his jaw, smiling at his surrender. Her hand still running around his abdomen, now no longer stained, but still sore.

Loki swallowed the knot in his throat, closing his eyes and reliving the dream that had woken him up. The dream that brought her to him once again. Her touch, just like everything else, was addicting, intoxicating, exciting, precious. He didn’t even notice she had unbuttoned a few buttons of his shirt, realizing that when her cold hand touched his warm skin and a shiver went down his spine. He gasped, letting out all of the air he didn’t even realize he was holding. He felt her lips opening up to an ironic smile, the breath she let out with her laugh hitting his neck, where she started to pepper with kisses.

“Tell me,” she whispered; her hands slowly starting to mode down his belly until she reached the waistband of the pants he wore. “Let me help you.”

It was the same thing she had said to him countless times and he had ignored. The same she had said to him when Thor was exiled and sent to Midgard. The same that penetrated him like sharp knives, because in all of those occasions, the answer was negative. He had pushed her away. And now, just like the other times, his answer was the same.

“You can’t,” he finally found his voice. Loki closed his eyes, feeling her nails putting pressure against his skin, as if she wanted to punish him for giving the wrong answer.

“Do you want to try again, _love_?” She asked, heavy irony on ‘love’. “When will you start to learn? Stop lying, remember when you promised you would never lie to me?”

“ _I_ don’t… I can’t.” He said, finding it difficult to concentrate when he felt her hand sinking into his pants, the other going up to keep his long black hair off his neck, giving her unlimited access to that part. He wanted to remember all of the reasons that prohibited him to tell her about his dreams, tell her everything that crossed his mind whenever he closed his eyes, but she was doing such a good work that his mind was completely blank.

“Loki…” She warned him, her hand not taking it easy on how hard she gripped his black hair, let alone his already half-hard cock. “You know this is not how it works. You’ve tried this already, remember? Push me away, now look at what happened.”

“But you’re still here.”

He turned, pushing her hands away, his eyes fixating on her for a few seconds before analyzing her face and her lips, as if he was looking for a cut, or anything else that could indicate she was hurt. Her lips opened on a mocking smile; the hands that were in his hair, went to his face, caressing his cheek, whilst the other went back to the waistband of his pants. She was so close, Loki could smell her perfume, the citrusy scent that was mixed with the smell of Midgard – the last vivid memory he had of her perfume. It was intoxicating, Loki closed his eyes, almost tasting it. Her lips brushed his, they were so soft and delicate that Loki thought he might hurt her, wondering how his were the complete opposite. The touch was so delicate, so discreet that he could hardly believe it was really happening.

And it wasn’t. And the cold air that hit his face was enough to remember him of that. She _wasn’t there_. Loki opened his eyes, facing the empty space in front of him, not even wasting his time looking around, knowing very well he would find it completely empty. The silence of the cell being broken only by the sound of her laughter, that seemed to never leave his mind, soon being replaced by the scream of pain that was a remnant of the dream that had woken him up. The scream she let out when she felt the sharp object stabbing her heard. The scream she let out when _he_ attacked her. When _he_ caused her death. Erasing the sparkle of joy from her eyes, and the discreet smile on her lips that was capable of bringing him to his knees.

۰ℓ۰

Sigyn woke up sweaty and out of breath. The room was dark and quiet. From afar, she could hear the TV on, and if she’d focus hard enough, she could hear the soft scratch of the pencil against the paper. Another night when she and Jane would spend wide awake. The astronomer and the Asgardian had become a good match. They kept each other company on sleepless nights, each for their own reasons, of course. Jane was still very focused on her studies, whilst Sigyn couldn’t stop reliving everything she had lived in New York. Despite the nightmares, the woman had settled quite well on Earth, helping Jane with her research whenever necessary.

“Another one?” Jane asked when she saw the other woman entering the room. The astronomer smiled and gave space on the couch for her new friend.

“Still haven’t found an answer?” As always, Jane dodged the subject. Jane smiled, not blaming the other woman, and facing the notepad on her lap.

“I don’t think I’m looking for one,” Jane confessed, causing a frown on the blonde’s face. “I’m not sure it’s worth the effort.”

“Jane…” Sigyn sighed.

For months the astronomer had been trying to create a portal that would enable Thor to travel between Asgard and Midgard, but ever since Thor came to Earth a few months ago to stop Loki’s plans the woman had taken down a notch on her research. Jane was disappointed; she had seen Thor for a very brief moment, whilst the blonde helped Sigyn to adapt, but after that, he left without saying a proper goodbye or giving her any explanation. If he had managed to make those trips to Midgard and back to Asgard, why didn’t he do it more often to see her?

“He made me think there was no way he could travel between both words,” Jane said, finally blurting out a part of what had been in her mind all this time. “But he did that four times already. He came here, went back to pick you up, and came back. And then he left once more. Without saying anything.”

“He wasn’t lying, Jane,” said Sigyn. “The Bifrost was destroyed. Thor just came here because of Odin. And that cost them both their healthy.” The other woman still didn’t seem convinced, and Sigyn couldn’t really blame her. “Thor is not like Loki, Jane. He has true feelings for you. Before I came here, I already felt as if we were friends due to how many times he talked about you and the time you spent together.”

“Is he that bad? Loki?” Jane asked, curious about one detail on the Asgardian’s speech.

“Yes and no. He thinks he is, but deep down he’s just a scared boy.” Sigyn analyzed. “A scared and hurt boy.”

“Is weird, you know? Seeing everything he did and then hear you talking about him,” Jane laughed. “There’s no hate or anger in your voice… You really love him.”

“We hate what we can’t understand. Loki was very transparent to me, I never allowed him to fool me. I was a fool a few times, yes, but I always knew who I was dealing with.”

“Do you really think that staying was the best choice?”

“For him? No. For me? Absolutely,” Sigyn smiled.

“It doesn’t seem like,” Jane commented, soon regretting it once she saw the curious and surprise look on Sigyn’s face. “With all of your nightmare and how you always find a way to bring him to any conversation, even if it’s just a small comment… You’re still stuck with him.”

“I never said I wasn’t.” The two women faced the cooking show on the TV for a while, in complete silence. As always, Jane’s mind going a thousand miles an hour, whilst Sigyn kept her thoughts on one single subject. Tired of thinking about that, and needing a distraction, the woman stared at the other one next to her. “That’s why you’ve been going on all of those dates?”

“Sorry?” Jane almost choked on her own saliva.

“Your disappointment with Thor is the reason for all of the dates?”

“How did you… Never mind. Of course not.”

“Right.”

The friendship between them had come naturally. Jane always open to welcome new help whenever offered, and Sigyn enchanted by Earth and willing to help the astronomer in whatever was necessary. Both of them were very well studied; with Sigyn always enjoying devouring the books in Asgard, and having studied many subjects. With an easy to make anyone jealous, Sigyn was able to quickly understand Jane’s object of study and began to help her with some topics, especially those involving Asgard and the other kingdoms. Jane was curious, and Sigyn was her walking encyclopedia, both of them completing each other.

During the first couple of months, they stayed at the same place, helping Erik to recover from the effects of what Loki had done with him. After that, the trips started and, now – a year and a half after Sigyn’s arrival – they were in London, studying, amongst other things, a few events the Erik had taken notice and asked for the astronomer’s help. Of course, most of the people thought him to be going crazy, but Jane had made the decision to go after him anyway, choosing to confirm with her own eyes and studies before she came to any conclusion. The only problem was that, ever since they arrived there, Erik hadn’t shown up. So Jane decided to try her luck with some dates to distract herself and avoid thinking on Thor. Both Sigyn and Darcy agreed that it wasn’t helping at all.

Even so, the next day, there it was Jane leaving for another date and leaving Sigyn in charge of preventing Darcy of going after her. The Asgardian didn’t think she any chance against the brunette, but she accepted the mission anyway. Usually she would do a good job, but that afternoon was nothing like the others and not even Sigyn managed to stay behind when she, Darcy and Ian – Darcy’s intern, if that made any sense at all – left to look for Jane and show her what was happening. They had been waiting for that ever since they’ve arrived there, it was what Erik wanted to show Jane. And now the even was coming to them.

Sigyn knew she shouldn’t allow Darcy to go after Jane and interrupt the date, but once again she was no match against the brunette, so she resigned herself to staying in the car with Ian, waiting for them. To the blonde’s dismay, Darcy came back alone.

“Where’s she?”

“She stayed,” said Darcy, shrugging. “She’ll come.”

The Asgardian didn’t give her much credit, but regretted shortly after seeing Jane walking around the corner towards the car. The astronomer entered the car and looked at Darcy.

“I hate you,” she said, soon turning to Sigyn. “Why didn’t you go instead of her?”

“As if anyone could stop her,” said Sigyn whilst Darcy tried to defend herself.

Darcy drove to the point where the event was occurring, with Ian dictating the direction while Sigyn just watched the landscape and Jane was lost in thoughts. It was inevitable, as soon as something started to happen, the calculations started to happen and theories emerged. Sigyn thought it was fascinating, watching the woman working and wanting to find answers even though they weren’t within easy reach. What seemed to be the case at the moment.

They parked on an abandoned lot. The cold wind hit Sigyn’s body and she shrank into her coat, looking around and stopping when she noticed the truck turned over on its side. She had seen enough movies and TV shows to know that that was supposed to happen only during an accident, but it didn’t seem to be the case in there. She and Jane exchanged looks and then follow inside the building. It seemed like an abandoned factory, falling apart. Only birds being able to live there, and they couldn’t understand what was so interesting about that place – despite Sigyn feeling a strange shiver down the back of her neck.

Some kids came around the corner, after almost scaring the hell out of Sigyn, finally giving some answers that could interest them. At Jane’s request, the three kids took the group further into the building, where they came across a large truck. Sigyn looked around, feeling more and more that there was something strange in the air. One of the boys got closer to the truck, putting to fingers under it and with minimum effort, in a matter of seconds the vehicle was floating in the air.

“What the hell…” Sigyn started, looking sideways and seeing Jane as surprised and shocked as she felt.

“That doesn’t seem normal,” said Darcy. Sigyn almost laughed; she liked the brunette, seeming to always have something to say, even if it wasn’t related to what they were studying.

“There’s more,” said a girl, motioning with her hand to indicate the group to follow her.

She took them to another place, now with multiple stairs, which they climbed until they reached the middle. Hopefully waiting for something to happen. They then looked up to where one of the boys was and saw when he brought a glass bottle with some liquid in it. Sigyn frowned, she as a little bit skeptical despite the constant shivers down her body. The boy dropped the bottle and they watched as it fell, waiting for the moment it would break on the floor. However, to the surprise of the newly arrived group, the bottle disappeared. Sigyn blinked in confusion.

“Where did it go?” Jane asked, the group looking up when the girl pointed. In a few seconds, the bottle reappeared from the ceiling of the building, or so it seemed, falling until disappearing again and reappearing at the top, going through the entire process a few other times until one of the boys reached for the bottle and caught it. “That’s amazing!”

Jane then decided to “play” a little, grabbing a crunched can and throwing just like the boy had one, but this time nothing happened. They waited a little, but the can never fell the same way the bottle had. Sigyn looked at Jane, then down, where the can had fallen, not finding anything weird there.

“What happened?” Jane asked.

“Sometimes they come back. Sometimes they don’t” said the girl.

Both Jane and Sigyn seemed confused, whilst Darcy just wanted to play a little as well. Sigyn approached the astronomer when she reached for the device and tried to understand something of what was happening in there, but her knowledge on that matter was still very superficial, whilst for Jane seemed to mean a lot of things.

“I haven’t seen readings like that since…”

“New Mexico?” From Jane’s expression, Sigyn could understand what that meant and then understood better the reason behind her shivering. It was something related to Asgard, maybe something about she had read already but couldn’t connect the dots until then. She needed more details to start looking for the answers she suspected already having.

When Jane ran away, Sigyn went down the stairs, wanting to observe from up close what was happening and trying to understand what that could be. She grabbed a block of stone as she descended, and threw it into the hole around the same height where the bottle and the can had disappeared. There was a slight disturbance in the air when the stone disappeared, and Sigyn looked up, smiling when the stone fell back, and paying more attention. It was a very minimal disturbance, a set of waves that happened so fast that, had she blinked, she would have missed. She had studied about that already, on one of the books on Odin’s huge library.

It had been hours since Jane went missing. Sigyn had started to worry way before Darcy, but when they looked at the clock and saw how long exactly the woman was missing, the brunette finally started to get desperate. Despite the Asgardian’s protests, Darcy called the police and started to give her testimony when Jane came on running from inside the building. Darcy ran towards Jane whilst Sigyn stayed behind to apologize to the cops, then walking towards the women. She was oblivious to the argument between them, more curious about the strange energy she felt coming from Jane.

The rain came out of nowhere, and it took them a moment to realize. Sigyn only noticed when she saw Thor’s tall, imposing figure a few feet away. The god wore his Asgardian clothes, the red cloak moving with the wind, the hammer – which still terrified her – in his hand, and the blue eyes fixes on the three ladies. Sigyn smiled, obviously Thor would be here. If the blonde had put Heimdall to watch over her, he had also put him to watch Jane. And the scientist had vanished for a long time; if even Sigyn could feel something weird, so certainly that had caught the watchman.

The woman wasn’t even paying attention to the argument between Darcy and Jane, walking away from them and approaching Thor. Only when the rain started to get her wet she stopped again, looking behind her and noticing the perfect circle around Jane and Darcy that protected them from the rain. The blonde’s sudden departure caught their attention, mostly silencing Darcy, who also noticed Thor’s arrival.

Jane ran towards the god, leaving Darcy in the rain as well, and Sigyn decided keep her distance and give them a moment to talk. Of course she almost gave up on that decision when she saw Jane slapping the god’s face. Sigyn could understand where that was coming from, though. Even keeping her distance, the blonde could hear their conversation and she was surprised when Thor asked _Jane_ where the astronomer was.

“Heimdall couldn’t see you,” Thor completed. Slowly, Sigyn started to approach them, wanting to know if the blonde would give them more information.

It was cute to see them together, the way Thor acted around the woman and how he went to lengths of giving her good explanations to show he wasn’t another douchebag. Of course, a part of Sigyn worried once she heard about the wars, but the biggest part of her couldn’t stop looking at them and feeling a touch of jealousy, because that would never be her. And maybe that was why she hated herself so much for not noticing that Darcy was running towards them, getting in the way of the most expected kiss between them.

With the brunette’s comment, Thor stopped the rain and Sigyn finally moved her feet. The police were still around, and when Darcy pointed out that they could be in any danger, Jane ran to salvage the situation, whilst Sigyn finally managed to get closer to Thor.

“Milady,” he said, smiling at her when the woman rolled her eyes at the formality. “It’s good to see you.”

“Likewise,” she said. Sigyn tried to contain herself, but it had been so long that she couldn’t contain herself, and when she realized, she was hugging the blonde tight, smiling when he hugged her back. “How is Asgard?”

“Missing you,” said Thor once they stepped back from each other. For a moment, Sigyn couldn’t say if he was really referring to Asgard, him, her parents, or Loki. But chose not ask any questions. “Do you know what happened?”

“No, but I know there’s something wrong. Do you know?”

“Heimdall mentioned something about the Convergence,” said Thor.

Something in Sigyn’s mind seemed to lighten up. She was about to say something, when what seemed like an explosion happened and Thor quickly grabbed her and Darcy to try and protect them from whatever it was. The three of them looked towards Jane, that was now lying on the ground. The remnant of a red energy fading into the air. Sigyn frowned, following Thor when he ran towards Jane.

“Is she okay?” Sigyn asked, getting closer but keeping her distance. Thor looked to Jane and then his Asgardian friend.

“I don’t know.” At least he was honest. He took a few steps back so Jane wouldn’t listen to him. “I’m taking her to Asgard. Do you want to come with us?”

The invitation caught her by surprise. Her initial reaction was to say yes and go back, get reunited with her parents and go back to her normal life. But there was something that stopped her from going forward with that idea. Because she knew what else existed in Asgard, and she knew what would put her in danger despite all of her determination.

“Milady?” Thor called her, his voice urgent after what had just happened.

“He’s still there, isn’t he?” The blonde woman asked, ignoring the police and the doubt in Jane’s eyes.

“Still in jail.”

“But _still there_.” Sigyn sighed, watching the way Thor’s arm hugged Jane in a protective way, knowing she would never have that, not with someone she would like to, and hating herself for allowing those thoughts. “I can’t, Thor, not as long as he’s still there.” The woman took a deep breath and smiled to the scientist, waking away to give them the necessary space for them to leave. “You need to go… Take good care of her, Thor.”

“Sigyn…”

“Go, I’ll help Darcy to deal with this mess whilst you take care of what is happening,” Sigyn stopped for a moment, Thor realized and waited a little longer. He wasn’t going to deny he was still hopeful she would change her mind and go with them. “Come back alive, please.”

Thor didn’t hide his disappointment, but didn’t give Sigyn much time to feel guilty, soon asking Heimdall to take them back, the god and Jane disappearing in a blink of an eye. She and Darcy looked to the circle burned on the ground. Sigyn smiled at the intricate design and felt tears burning her eyes for not being with them, making the trip back home. But she knew it was for a good reason. Her emotional health would thank her someday.

۰ℓ۰

If anyone would ask Sigyn to explain what had happened the last few days, she wouldn’t be able to go beyond “well, what we saw was…”. Of course, she had studied a little bit about the Convergence, but it was such a distant subject, that she never had the pleasure to dive deeper on her readings. Right now, she knew enough to have a very distant notion of what had happened the past days, but not enough to give a lecture like Jane, certainly, would give some day.

Somehow, Jane and Erik had managed to save the day, and Thor helped them. Which was a pretty rare thing to see, normally the god saved the day and other helped him. London was partially destroyed, something that S.H.I.E.L.D. would deal with; and Sigyn had almost witnessed the death of her best friend and Jane, thanking Odin profusely for that energy field that had sucked the Dark Elves’ ship. In that moment, the Asgardian woman realized that her trip to New York was still very recent and the idea of witnessing more deaths haunted her more than anything, or maybe it was the amount of dreams she had in which she would relive Loki’s death on the Bifrost and so many others in which he had killed her.

The Asgardian gave her friend some time to recover, and allowed Jane to convince herself that Thor wasn’t so easy to kill as it seemed. Only when, at last, the astronomer walked away to deal with the team of agents that started to arrive, Sigyn approached Thor, sitting by his side on a piece of concrete.

“Good job,” she said, facing him.

“You too,” Thor smiled.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Take the compliment, it’s what I can offer now. It’s the _only_ thing I can offer now.” Sigyn had noticed something weird about Thor, the way he was acting and how he was behaving towards her. Even Jane seemed weird, but the blonde thought it was still some remaining effect from what had happened to her.

“Alright, you have that same look from New York,” Sigyn observed, getting Thor’s attention. “What happened now?”

“Why don’t you miss just one thing?”

“Because you’re terrible at hiding stuff,” she pointed out. “What did Loki do know?”

“Actually,” Thor hesitated, getting the woman even more curious. She had no idea on how to talk to her about that. “He was kind of a hero.” That made Sigyn laugh, but the laugh died shortly after she realized Thor was serious. “He helped me save Jane.”

“Out of pure altruism?”

“Revenge,” Sigyn swallowed hard, she wanted to ask who he was avenging, but didn’t want to sound too presumptuous, so she just waited. “My mom is dead.”

“Thor… I’m so sorry.”

Sigyn felt her heart tightening in her chest. She knew how much Frigga was important for the boys, even for her. It was her Queen, after all. Shy tears rolled down her face, as she hugged the man from the side. In face of everything that had happened, he probably hasn’t even been able to feel that loss. And Sigyn wasn’t there to give him all the support needed.

“Brave until her last breath,” Thor said, his hand over Sigyn’s. “Died protecting Jane, fighting against the Elves.”

“So she was the one Loki was getting revenge for,” Sigyn concluded, the most obvious reason.

“Yes… Well, he died trying at least,” Thor revealed, not feeling so surprised when he heard Sigyn gasping. Her amber eyes now held new unshed tears and an expression of surprise and astonishment in her face. “I’m really sorry, Sigyn.”

She didn’t feel when the tears started to fall down, and didn’t even realize when Thor brought her in for a hug. But she buried her face on the god’s chest and allowed her tears to wet his armor. That was what she wanted to happen in New York, but if she knew back then how much receiving that news would hurt, she would have wished for something completely different.

It wasn’t a pain like disappointment or rejection, it was something worse, permeated by guilt and regret. She had asked Thor to lie to him, tell him she had died. She had run away from him at the first opportunity. Her last words indicating that he would suffer a sentence worse than what Odin would give him. He would suffer the rest of his life knowing she had died, and now he had died believing in that. She hadn’t given him five seconds to _try_ and redeem himself, ask for some kind of forgiveness. She had lived that last year convincing herself that even if given the opportunity, Loki would act the same way as always. But now she would never have the chance to know. He had died, and she probably had lost his funeral, if he was given one.

For the rest of the day she spent on a kind of numbness, every now and then answering a direct question, but soon people stopped bothering her. She relived her last nightmare, the one that happened before all the situation with the Convergence. In it, she and Loki meet and fought against each other. It ended with him trying to deceive her and she being able to escape his spell, for the first time winning the battle between them. She still remembered the way Loki looked at her on the dream, a mix of surprised and betrayed with her using his own spell against him. A smile taking over his lips, soon being stained with blood as he fell with her last strike. Sigyn woke up at the exact moment she realized what she had done, regret soon taking over.

Now she finally understood all of that. How Loki and her have been killing each other slowly, ever since they met each other. And how her act of running away had been her last strike against him, a selfish self-preservation tactic that didn’t fit her nature, but that the woman had forced on herself. She gave up her life, her world, her family to run away from someone that, eventually, would end up causing her death. And now she could see the fruits of her actions. Even if she wasn’t the executioner who wielded the ax and delivered the final blow, Sigyn felt guilty.

“Sigyn, I’m leaving,” Thor appeared in front of her, getting her attention.

“Leaving? Where to?”

“Asgard,” the god informed her, worry so obvious in his eyes that Sigyn almost laughed.

“Oh, right.” Sigyn closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and forcing her brain to function again. Her entire body was protesting due to how long she stayed there, sitting still absorbing Loki’s death. Little by little, she came back, processing the new information. Thor came to say goodbye, but she knew he wanted something else, he wished for something else. And this time she wouldn’t fight against it. She was tired of running away, to stay in a place where she wasn’t happy, despite the friendships she had made. Midgard wasn’t her home, and she knew it would never be. “It’s time to go back home.” She said, causing Thor to smile and nod.

“Yes, milady.”

“Let’s go home, Thor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy oh boy, Sigyn's part was a bitch to translate - I apologize for any weirdness you may have found, please feel free to correct me. It had been awhile, so every part after Loki in the cell was a bit of a struggle to translate.
> 
> It's time to go home. I wonder what could possibly go wrong, lol.
> 
>  **Up next:** Epilogue! If you know how Dark World ended, you know what situation we have ahead.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment and/or some kudos to motivate a very lazy author.
> 
> Love, Blue 💙


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn and Thor are back in Asgard, and Sigyn may have some explanations to give the King.
> 
> If you watched Thor: The Dark World, you may know what to expect ;)

_Some people pray at their God for some magic_

_Cause no easy love could ever make them feel the same_

Sigyn promised herself that that would be the last time she would make a trip like that. She had forgotten how uncomfortable it was, and thanked when she finally set foot on Heimdall’s observatory, running to hug the watchman as soon as she saw him.

“Welcome back, milady,” the man said, smiling at her. “The King awaits you, sir.”

Thor looked at his friend, knowing she desired to speak with Odin to pay her respects for the recent deaths, and explain what had happened on her own terms, after all she was the one faking her own death and running away. Maybe the King would like an explanation or two about that. The god offered the woman the option to flight so they could get there faster, but Sigyn refused. Giving as an excuse the fact she wanted to walk the new Bifrost, glad they had finally managed to restore the bridge she loved so much. It seemed a little different now, given the many memories she had made on the previous one, and the new one brought her nothing. But the view was the same, and something brought back what she tried to forget for a while.

Asgard was the same from what she remembered, as shining and magnificent as ever. The people looked at her in surprise, probably all of them thinking the same thing, but Sigyn didn’t want to dive into that just yet. She followed Thor, both in silence, watching every single detail in the hopes of finding anything different. Of course some rebuilds were done after the Elves invasion and the escape orchestrated by Thor and Loki, but everything still seemed the same.

Once they were in front of the door to the throne room, Thor asked her to wait outside for a while, having his own matters to deal with his father first. Apparently he had committed treason when he freed Loki from prison so they could defeat Malekith and save Jane. Sigyn waited patiently, feeling her hands shaking and sweating in face of what could happen when it would be her turn.

Despite the heavy thick doors and how long the room was, Sigyn managed to hear something from their conversation and was surprised once she heard Thor giving up the throne. On one side, she understood where that came from, she loved Thor as if he was her brother, but could never see him as a King. He was a warrior, a hero, not a diplomat. And she agreed with the blonde man, despite everything, Loki would always be more suited for that job. Even when he made Thor be exiled, and after Odin was in a coma, Sigyn admired how gorgeous he looked sitting on the throne, as if that seat had been made especially to be occupied by him.

Thor was touched by his father’s words, and felt as if a weigh had been lifted off of his shoulders by finally giving up the throne. He was ready to leave when he remembered something important.

“Father, theirs is someone outside wishing to speak with you,” he said, something stopping him from revealing _who_ it was. Odin seemed curious and allowed the meeting. “Your turn,” Thor said to Sigyn once he met her outside. The woman hugged him tight.

“It was very brave what you did,” she whispered, taking a step back to look at him.”

“I hope it was the right thing.”

“If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have done it,” she concluded. They hugged one last time before each followed their own separate paths.

Sigyn stopped in front of the door, staring at the designs carved in it. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for whatever was about to happen. She signaled for the guards at the door, and they opened them so she could walk in. Two guards were inside, next to the door, just for safe sakes. Sigyn walked in, took three steps and stopped. They were very distant from each other, but the woman could feel the intense look of the King upon her, and watched as he got up from the throne, not seeming to believe what he was seeing.

“Leave.” Odin’s potent voice echoed through the room with his request, his eyes fixed on the new-comer, both staring at each other with wide eyes, although he doubted her reasons were the same as his.

They both waited until they were alone to resume moving. The King of Asgard approaching the stairs and descending the few steps that separated him from the same level as the woman that approached him. Every step he took, the magic of the illusion started to vanish, with him losing all control over the trick.

Gradually, the gray hair gave way to a long, black and shiny one. The clear eye, and the other covered with an eye patch, was replaced by the two clear and green ones; the determined and severe face disappeared, forming Loki Laufeyson’s pale, angular face. From where she was standing, the woman gasped, her leg almost failing her as the clothes the King was wearing were replaced by the usual black with green and silver details apparel the God of Mischief used to wear. That couldn’t be possible. Thor had assured her that his younger brother had died during their attempt to defeat Melekith and saving Jane. Thor swore to her it was a heroic act, that Loki had managed to improve the image he had left. He had also promised her it was safe to go back to Asgard, that the reasons why she had left the city almost two years ago had no more sense.

Sigyn didn’t even had in herself to look surprised. It was so obvious she could laugh, if it weren’t for how surprised she was by the vision in front of her. If she didn’t feel the characteristic cold in the pit of her stomach, this time caused by the way Loki looked at her. He was probably also going over what the God of Thunder had told him.

Thor had told him that she was dead. No. He had _shown_ him that she was dead. Those pictures had burned, but every time he closed his eyes, Loki still could see them. Sigyn’s lifeless and colorless body. Amber eyes permanently closed that would never shine whenever she looked at him, blonde curls that would never dance in accordance to the wind, a few strands brushing his skin, causing a small tickle sensation. And her smile would never lighten up the room she was in. The God had taken some time to hate and blame himself after he found out about her death. The death _he_ had caused, for it was because of _him_ that Thor had dragged her to pathetic and inferior Midgard to try to stop his plans. And when she failed, without any surprise, instead of going back home, Sigyn decided to stay and fight, help those who were harmed during the Battle of New York.

He had barely gotten over one death, and then came his mom’s. And it was submersed in pure rage that he had helped Thor to save Jane and destroy Malekith, avenging his mom. But he would never be able to avenge Sigyn. Initially, he thought it was self-preservation, since he was the one to blame for her death and the proper revenge would be his own death. But now he concluded it was because there wasn’t a death to be avenged, since she was there, standing in front of him.

She was completely different from what he saw in his dreams in the cell he was put in after New York. Dreams in which they would meet again after his own death and she would come to welcome him wearing the same dress on the night they had met again, however, the green would be darker, stained and damp. And when he would touch her, his hand would come back stained with blood. _Her_ blood that _he_ had spilled.

He was the God of Mischief, had full control over his mind and knew every magic trick that existed. But there he was, doubting himself as he watched her, convinced it was another trick, a way for Thor to discover his newest trick after discovering that all this time it was Loki in his father’s place. It was the only explanation. It was the easiest to accept.

But it was the most fake as well, because it was real. He could feel, with the proximity, the warmth coming from her body, the scent of her perfume – that had changed during her time in Midgard, but that still carried some notes of what she wore in Asgard. Or maybe it was just a trick of his mind. Because those blonde curly strands may seem like hers, but they weren’t the same. Sigyn’s were broad and defined, long curls that extended to her waist. But that woman in front of him had short hair, the curls had come undone and had turned into long waves, and there were some darker shades in the blond strands.

There was something that hadn’t changed, however, and that was what took his breath away: her eyes. Amber eyes that reminded him the way the sun would shine at the end of the day on the castle. He knew he could look all over Asgard, all the realms and galaxies, and he would never find eyes like those. Eyes that looked at him in surprise, but without fear. Curious eyes, but not scared. Intrigued, but never defiant. Eyes that saw through any illusion spell that he could cast upon himself. Eyes that saw every secret he planned to keep to himself.

So immersed they were in the image of the other, they didn’t realize that their steps had come to a stop, just a few feet away from each other. But there they were, face to face. Their chests rising and falling at an accelerated pace following the rhythm of their breaths. Their eyes analyzing every little detail, seeming to compete who could absorb more of each other. Sigyn’s heart was beating so fast she was willing to bet that he could hear it, even though she knew how absurd that was. But Loki wasn’t even paying attention to that, his own heart distracting him from everything else around them.

She was there, in front of him, as beautiful as ever. Maybe even more. Looking at him as if she was torn between thanking Odin for bringing him back, or punch him and curse at him with all of the names she knew for making her live in exile for almost two years, and for making her believe he was dead. Not that he felt any different, apart from the fact he would never do any physical harm.

“Tell me this isn’t an illusion,” he begged, not caring at all about the posture he was supposed to maintain.

For almost two years he had tortured himself for causing her death; now that he could see her standing in front of him, alive and at his arms reach, he didn’t care anymore. His hands seemed to gain a life of its own and raised to caress her face. Sigyn gave in to the touch, closing her eyes and tilting her head slightly. Loki got even closer, burying his face on the woman’s hair, inhaling her scent and letting himself to get intoxicated. He closed his eyes when he felt her hands grasping his clothes, as if she was looking for something to keep her steady.

Loki pushed her away gently, looking for amber eyes and causing them to cross his green ones. That crossing that gave him goosebumps, a fast heartbeat and a tingle all over his body. It was so different from the amber that surrounded him in his dreams. That one was calm, relieved, wistful. That one wasn’t shine from hate or anger, but relief and joy for seeing him there. And Sigyn seemed ecstatic to see that the green ones weren’t as hard and cold as always, Loki seemed to have abandoned all caution and surrendered himself to that moment.

She smiled, raising her own hands to touch his face, fingers tracing his lips carefully. Loki felt weakened under her unexpected touch, but his eyes kept the connection between them. Then she spoke, her voice soft, low and delicate sounding like music to his heard, after so much time without hearing it. Now he wanted to spent the eternity listening to it.

“It’s not an illusion.”

۰ **The End** ۰

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this considered a happy ending? Maybe more hopeful than anything else, right?
> 
> Writing, then translating and reliving, this ficion was a delight! I love these two. I love how she doesn't try to change him, and know there's no hope - but kinda has some. I also miss them already, who knows I finally get around to write something more with them.
> 
> My dream is to write something covering Ragnarok (that I hate), Infinity War and Endgame, but I haven't been able to do that yet. So I won't give any hopes.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment and/or some kudos to motivate a very lazy author. And check my other works if you're interested - I have another one with Loki and Sigyn, and at some point I will post one with Captain American and a Original Character (just have to battle my lazy ass and start translating that lol).
> 
> Love, Blue 💙


End file.
